What's new

The complexity of getting married

I'm keeping up with this thread with the sole purpose of seeing you crash and burn here :ajmal
 
waqar goraya said:
I was reading this , thought it might be interesting for some people around here!

She weeps for a dead man, who departed with honor:
But he that still lives has more need of her tears.
STrange ! She weeps for one who died an easy natural death.
And she has no pity for him whom she tortures in despair. - (Ibn Hazm)

(Ibn Hazm)
Click to expand...

Killing it.
 
As expected nothing happened. :adnan

She was looking gorgeous. Wore brown color clothes with sky blue work on the shirt and piping on the borders.

Wore light blue bracelet and blue flats.

Thankfully, got rid of the purple nail-paint. Not to mention I was looking like a Greek god too.

The younger generation sat in the other room, the girls gossiped the guys played FIFA. I quite beastly at it and won 2 out of 3 games, lost the one because I tried to woo her and attempted punched above my weight by trying some fancy stuff which isn't my forte. :ajmal

I kept glancing at her and we had eye contact a couple of times (that eyes, like a Persian cat). One of the girls asked us boys a question regarding some stuff and obviously I was gonna be the one to answer first so used that opportunity to join in the conversation with the girls. I didn't speak to her directly but it was a sort of a mutual discussion. She has a clear sweet voice and smells great too.

Then we had dinner which was served earlier than I expected. Quite a feast though. I was standing near the table on which the cold drinks were placed and I was filling one for myself and she came over and wanted to get one. For a moment, I thought I should hand her over my glass as courtesy but then hesitated.

After dinner, she left early because her Dad had to go leave for Lahore early in the morning and I went to see them off to the gate. His Mum and Dad talked to me for a bit and then I said a mutual goodbye to all of them.

With a heavy heart, I got back inside and we left like 10 minutes later.

Absolutely no progress in terms of giving her a hint that I fancy her and neither did I get a hint that she likes me. All I managed was to talk to her indirectly, that's it.

Looks like I am gonna lose out on her. I am moving at a snail's pace.

Another one bites the dust. :raja
 
Actually now u would come across as weird because u chatted with ur other female cousins but did not with her and just kept having eye contact with her.
I think she kinda knows u fancy her.
 
sensible-indian-fan said:
Ok, I have a little bit different view reg this.

Personally Mamoon, I think you are going about this in a completely wrong way.

There are 2 issues here:

1. Reg your views about marriage
2. Reg how you want to approach this situation

Reg your views about marriage

I get your point of view. You will asked be about your marriage preferences at 24 and you want to marry someone with whom you are already comfortable with and if you could know her very well a year or 2 beforehand, that would be the best thing.

But you see, there is a small problem here. Your age is just 22. I know you are very mature and analytical for your age but every person goes through a personal transformation where their views, outlook towards life changes considerably (and this is a continual development as they grow). Its like there are stages that a man goes through with each stages lasting for several years.

Now at 22, you are just a few years out of your teens.

Maybe you know exactly want in life but maybe that's just an illusion as there may be some drastic changes as you grow a few years older.
Click to expand...
Good observation and I can't argue against it, but I don't see any issue with her that I might not like in the future.

She is a pretty normal girl with normal likes/dislikes. Its not "dangerous" choice and I don't like any particular aspect of her which I might grow out of in the future.
The problem with analytical people is that they become supremely confident of their views and they 100% believe they know exactly what they want and a great major level trasnformation hits them (where they move on to the next stage), they will find it really hard to ignore their new views especially if those views are in direct contradiction to the old ones.

Now you may believe that your views at 22 will always be consistent for the near future (and it may be true) but its a huge risk to assume that as odds are it won't be. And when it isn't, things can get messy if you make major life decisions looking at the world from your old lens.

What views am I talking about?

One example is the topic we are discussing here. The views about your marriage as in whom you want to marry, is it good to go ahead with it with your cousin, etc.

The assured way in which in which you are talking about marriage, whom you want to marry and stuff is GREAT actually (cos there is nothing wrong with planning as its very important) but at the same time, its important that you don't dive headfirst into decisions which may not allow you to have change of views later on.

Something to think about.

Having a crush and living life together with someone as different as chalk and cheese (no matter how strong your crush may be - matching interests don't mean much in the large scheme of things - you need more data to even consider someone as the right person).
Click to expand...
Could be, can't count this possibility out. Many love marriages have failed because expectations from a GF and wife aren't the same.

Reg how you want to approach this situation

What you need to do is very simple. But its ain't easy.

Do you have friends (who are not drop dead handsome) who are great with the ladies?

Guys who can get girls to open up to them, confess their secrets to them (not like a friendzoned guy), get them to talk to them for hours and hours?

Guys whom girls find attractive (irrespective of his looks)?

Watching those guys in ACTION will teach you a lot. Talking to girls and creating chemistry (with good consistency) is a skill just like any skill. Some are born with it. Some develop it via observation and modelling. Some guys can actually articulate what they are doing but many can't. Many just naturally know what to do or they instinctively pick up how to do it from others.

That's why OBSERVING them gives you crystal clear data.
Click to expand...

Yes I do have certain friends who are great with ladies but I don't fancy those ladies.

So here's they usually do:

1. They start a simple short conversation with a girl. The topic is usually from the current setting. A simple question or a simple hilarious comment or just a normal comment to get the conversation started. No pick up lines.

2. They don't go specifically go for some deep subject or try hard to find a matching interest (most guys do that as its easy to keep a conversation flowing when you latch on to a favorable conversation mover). The problem with it is that there is no chemistry created and once the topic dies out awkwardness sets in.

3. They don't go for an interview style questioning which freaks out girls. They make statements (just like what you do Mamoon in PP and get people all riled up) and the conversation moves on from there. A guy is who is good at this can talk to a girl for 10 minutes without even going into the what did you study, where do you work kinda stuff. Those are boring nonsense.

4. The key to what they do is they NEVER let a topic dictate the flow of a conversation. Sure they do use the power of matching interests (to build rapport) but they don't hang on to those conservation movers as if their life depends on it. The focus is NOT on the topic but on the interaction taking place. That's why these people keep the mood light and engage in simple banters, quick witted statements, etc that naturally lets a conversation FLOW on its own.

5. These guys usually let the other person do a lot of talking while controlling where the conversation is going (like making sure the conversation doesn't get too technical or boring or argumentative in a serious way).

6. They make the whole interaction is meant to be light and fun which makes it easier for girls to become comfortable. They don't agree on everything but at the same time, they don't turn the conversation into intense logical argument. They channel their different viewpoints in a fun way that keeps the conversation interesting.
Click to expand...
Woah, that's as detailed and well organized an explanation one can come up with. I have a weakness and its my tongue. :afridi

I have great control over what I say and when to say it, but I like to be brutally straightforward and honest which is off putting at times.

Remember, unless a girl is comfortable in your presence, she won't open up and it would be very hard for any chemistry to develop. And whether we guys like it or not, creating chemistry and fun conversation is OUR onus. Not the girls. Unless the girl already has a huge crush on a guy.

7. They then get the girls number and they continue talking to them via phone, personal meeting and chat which then naturally leads to other things.

I have some friends who are a PRO at this. I never even bothered to watch their actions all these years. Recently when I was studying behavioral patterns of men and women (not official science stuff) and started observing others including my friends, things became very very clear.

So you just need to:

Step 1 - Start a conversation using something from the current setting.

Step 2 - Keep it fun. Or try to as much as possible. Basically, make her comfortable.

Step 3 - Try to continue that conversation via other channels later on (most preferable is phone).

Also I think you are putting pressure on yourself (on a subconscious level) if you look at her as someone you want to marry. Just look at her as any other girl you would want to date and things would be much more smoother.
Click to expand...

I have indirectly pulled off Step 1 today and trust me, your post has given me new hope and power. :yk2 I feel better now.

Now I have to look for a way to get her on a 1-1 conversation.

Thank you for the wonderful post. :14:
 
Last edited:
battler said:
Actually now u would come across as weird because u chatted with ur other female cousins but did not with her and just kept having eye contact with her.
I think she kinda knows u fancy her.
Click to expand...

I answered a question of her indirectly because it wasn't directed at me. :malik
 
Dude you are way over thinking this.

Just act supremely cool and make her laugh.

You're basically halfway there if she laughs.

Hass gayi to phass gayi...
 
I have terrible sense of humor, can't even make a clown laugh.
 
Mamoon said:
I answered a question of her indirectly because it wasn't directed at me. :malik
Click to expand...

U should have asked her another question just to get the 1 on 1 chat going with her.
She had indirectly set the platform for u but u did not capatilize :sami
U should have started of with a question which somewhat relates to the question she asked and set the ball rolling and once the convo got rolling u should have slipped in a " U look nice in this dress" comment.
It would not have been overtly flattering and would have potrayed you as a charming guy as well :ajmal
 
Mamoon said:
As expected nothing happened. :adnan

She was looking gorgeous. Wore brown color clothes with sky blue work on the shirt and piping on the borders.

Wore light blue bracelet and blue flats.

Thankfully, got rid of the purple nail-paint. Not to mention I was looking like a Greek god too.

The younger generation sat in the other room, the girls gossiped the guys played FIFA. I quite beastly at it and won 2 out of 3 games, lost the one because I tried to woo her and attempted punched above my weight by trying some fancy stuff which isn't my forte. :ajmal

I kept glancing at her and we had eye contact a couple of times (that eyes, like a Persian cat). One of the girls asked us boys a question regarding some stuff and obviously I was gonna be the one to answer first so used that opportunity to join in the conversation with the girls. I didn't speak to her directly but it was a sort of a mutual discussion. She has a clear sweet voice and smells great too.

Then we had dinner which was served earlier than I expected. Quite a feast though. I was standing near the table on which the cold drinks were placed and I was filling one for myself and she came over and wanted to get one. For a moment, I thought I should hand her over my glass as courtesy but then hesitated.

After dinner, she left early because her Dad had to go leave for Lahore early in the morning and I went to see them off to the gate. His Mum and Dad talked to me for a bit and then I said a mutual goodbye to all of them.

With a heavy heart, I got back inside and we left like 10 minutes later.

Absolutely no progress in terms of giving her a hint that I fancy her and neither did I get a hint that she likes me. All I managed was to talk to her indirectly, that's it.

Looks like I am gonna lose out on her. I am moving at a snail's pace.

Another one bites the dust. :raja
Click to expand...

Progress :ahmed When's your next family dinner?
 
When the next family gets bored. My Grandma is quite stingy and never lets us host anything. I want to show her my artistic bedroom. :ajmal
 
Mamoon said:
I have terrible sense of humor, can't even make a clown laugh.
Click to expand...

That's cuz clowns are too self obsessed and are very very sad individuals deep down..

If you haven't got the humour well then it's going to be a lot tougher.
 
Not handing the glass was a costly strategic error.

Just imagine, you hand it to her like a valiant, chivalrous, knight in shining armor. As she's accepting it, your fingers graze hers. That would've been something. Girls don't easily forget that.

Better yet, she wanted diet coke and you had filled the glass with regular coke. She says so, and you quickly fill another glass with the diet coke, and she says thanks and a conversation begins.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
I thought it would have been "over-efficient".

She isn't skinny, normal I presume and doesn't have stupid hangups with diet coke etc. I like them a tad cushioned. :ajmal
 
Nostalgic said:
Not handing the glass was a costly strategic error.

Just imagine, you hand it to her like a valiant, chivalrous, knight in shining armor. As she's accepting it, your fingers graze hers. That would've been something. Girls don't easily forget that.

Better yet, she wanted diet coke and you had filled the glass with regular coke. She says so, and you quickly fill another glass with the diet coke, and she says thanks and a conversation begins.
Click to expand...

You practically took the words out of my mouth! :))

But seriously, Mamoon - This is going nowhere at this pace.. You have to try and be a little more direct than thattt.
 
Mamoon, next time u meet her I suggest u already get urself drunk with several shots of vodka before u meet her.
That's the only way u are ever going to make progress in this relationship :kohli
 
Mamoon said:
I know I am trundling. :sohail
Click to expand...

Well, if you want her to be your better half, then you have to do better than that!

Stalk her more if you have to, but the next time you meet, try and have a conversation. Even if its something like, "I'm gonna go get myself a glass of water, should I get you one too?"
 
Mamoon said:
I like them a tad cushioned. :ajmal
Click to expand...

Good man! So you're fond of cougars and you like them a tad cushioned.

The zaftig auntie is a sight for sore eyes.


____________________
Say NO to Mullah Raj
 
Mamoon, i've read Bullet Drive's posts and he seems like a funny guy, maybe you could get some tips on laughter from him :yk . Try not to over-think that might help
 
Wait till shes about to get married (literally during the ceremony) and make a grand entrance (skydive through the glass roof) and profess your love.

If Hollywood has taught me anything its that she will fall for you and every man there will be jealous of your manliness and beg you to help them with their lives. Thank me when you're the head of the PCB
 
I'm in the same boat of Mamoon's but I spoke my mind with my cousin a long time ago that I fancy her and I still fancy her. She used to like someone else (our cousin) but he ditched her two years ago. We live in different countries and we meet in person years apart. I will probably see her in 2015's summer in a wedding.

The predicament is we are very close and text everyday but I can't score a home run.

blinding light, Kayal and other girls: do I stand a chance if we meet in person?
 
UP, it would be great of you could provide us a bit of detail upon the following questions/topics:

- the girl's response to your explicit profession of love (as much detail as you can comfortably state).
- the nature of your conversation with the girl (including content, frequency, intensity).
- what you feel is her perception of you.
- what her overall nature is (preferences, hobbies, etc).
 
blinding light said:
UP, it would be great of you could provide us a bit of detail upon the following questions/topics:

- the girl's response to your explicit profession of love (as much detail as you can comfortably state).
- the nature of your conversation with the girl (including content, frequency, intensity).
- what you feel is her perception of you.
- what her overall nature is (preferences, hobbies, etc).
Click to expand...
- she liked someone else at the time when I confessed her my feelings in 2011 so I had no chance. She was not interested, plain and simple. She couldn't look past him and it took her years to get over him.

- our conversations are more intended towards schooling, life in general, she takes my advice when in need, etc (frequency: normally everyday in good length, intensity: good - she is a quick texter and gets into the convo. I usually wait for her to text first and it normally works)

- her perception of me is a very good one. I have built a very positive relationship with her over the years but I want to go all the way and I feel she is not interested at all. She has expressed those three magical words to me 'I love you' quite a few times including on this Valentine's day (not in the way I want, I feel.). And I didn't repeat them back on each occasion. She thought of me as a brother before we knew each other but I feel I have changed that feeling of her of me. We have met three times (averagely a week long) when I was in my teens and once when I was 21. I'm 24 now and she is 22.

- her nature: caring, a lovely girl, a genuinely nice person. Preferences: she wants a good married life with a nice family. She isn't much into hobbies as far as I know. Ever since I have known her properly since March 2011 - her university life has dominated her. She takes unnecessarily too much stress in her uni life.
 
Last edited:
UP said:
I'm in the same boat of Mamoon's but I spoke my mind with my cousin a long time ago that I fancy her and I still fancy her. She used to like someone else (our cousin) but he ditched her two years ago. We live in different countries and we meet in person years apart. I will probably see her in 2015's summer in a wedding.

The predicament is we are very close and text everyday but I can't score a home run.

blinding light, Kayal and other girls: do I stand a chance if we meet in person?
Click to expand...

Why would you want to get in a relation with the girl whom you would see after years? Texting, Ph, skype, etc are all fine in the beginning but it gets repetitive and boring. Find a girl where you live.
 
Anfield said:
Why would you want to get in a relation with the girl whom you would see after years? Texting, Ph, skype, etc are all fine in the beginning but it gets repetitive and boring. Find a girl where you live.
Click to expand...
I have been texting her since 2011 and not a day I got bored of her and vice versa. We maintain a healthy balance of texting and our chemistry backs that. I can find a girl wherever I prefer.
 
UP said:
I'm in the same boat of Mamoon's but I spoke my mind with my cousin a long time ago that I fancy her and I still fancy her. She used to like someone else (our cousin) but he ditched her two years ago. We live in different countries and we meet in person years apart. I will probably see her in 2015's summer in a wedding.

The predicament is we are very close and text everyday but I can't score a home run.

blinding light, Kayal and other girls: do I stand a chance if we meet in person?
Click to expand...

Unlike Mamoon,you have already done all the groundwork here. Now it's time to make her realise how you genuinely feel for her. So,be a man and make the move when you see her next time.:D

Texting,skype etc will not built that intensity unless you are sure about your relationship. And never give her brotherly care. That would be disastrous.

Good luck UP bhai. Hoping for the best result.:19:
 
Mamoon said:
I have terrible sense of humor, can't even make a clown laugh.
Click to expand...

Girls love humour and do fancy guys who have a very good humour sense. But when it comes to marriage,nobody wants to marry a 'clown'.

Actually,i liked the way you didn't offer her the cool drink.:D
 
kaayal said:
Girls love humour and do fancy guys who have a very good humour sense. But when it comes to marriage,nobody wants to marry a 'clown'.

Actually,i liked the way you didn't offer her the cool drink.:D
Click to expand...

Really i thought he lost a golden opportunity to talk to that girl..
 
kaayal said:
Girls love humour and do fancy guys who have a very good humour sense. But when it comes to marriage,nobody wants to marry a 'clown'.

Actually,i liked the way you didn't offer her the cool drink.:D
Click to expand...

Make it singular. Most of the girls are sensitive. They can't understand the difference between humor and serious. You dare to make a humor about a girl's looks and outfits even in a complimentary manner, she won't talk to you for a week and would be concerned and worried about it the whole time.
 
HazTheGreenKnightRises said:
Make it singular. Most of the girls are sensitive. They can't understand the difference between humor and serious. You dare to make a humor about a girl's looks and outfits even in a complimentary manner, she won't talk to you for a week and would be concerned and worried about it the whole time.
Click to expand...

True. Depends on the girl a lot..:)
 
niishaa said:
Really i thought he lost a golden opportunity to talk to that girl..
Click to expand...

He don't even have the guts to face her,let alone talk to her. If he had opened his mouth, that would have been a total disaster..:asif
 
HazTheGreenKnightRises said:
Make it singular. Most of the girls are sensitive. They can't understand the difference between humor and serious. You dare to make a humor about a girl's looks and outfits even in a complimentary manner, she won't talk to you for a week and would be concerned and worried about it the whole time.
Click to expand...

Theres a huge difference in between humouring girls and making them the butt of your jokes :facepalm:

kaayal said:
Girls love humour and do fancy guys who have a very good humour sense. But when it comes to marriage,nobody wants to marry a 'clown'.

Actually,i liked the way you didn't offer her the cool drink.:D
Click to expand...

Really? I think that would have been very coy (with the propensity to ignite a flurry of varying emotions within Potential Bhabi [PB in short]) had he done that AFTER having a small conversation or two before that.

Imagine: this guy playing it cool yet still mild enough to make light comments, have a direct convo.. And suddenly, he refuses to give up his drink up for her (throw in a quizzical look with a raised eyebrow for max effect)..

I mean, if done right, it'd probably hit a chord somewhere inside PB, me thinks :)

UP said:
- she liked someone else at the time when I confessed her my feelings in 2011 so I had no chance. She was not interested, plain and simple. She couldn't look past him and it took her years to get over him.

- our conversations are more intended towards schooling, life in general, she takes my advice when in need, etc (frequency: normally everyday in good length, intensity: good - she is a quick texter and gets into the convo. I usually wait for her to text first and it normally works)

- her perception of me is a very good one. I have built a very positive relationship with her over the years but I want to go all the way and I feel she is not interested at all. She has expressed those three magical words to me 'I love you' quite a few times including on this Valentine's day (not in the way I want, I feel.). And I didn't repeat them back on each occasion. She thought of me as a brother before we knew each other but I feel I have changed that feeling of her of me. We have met three times (averagely a week long) when I was in my teens and once when I was 21. I'm 24 now and she is 22.

- her nature: caring, a lovely girl, a genuinely nice person. Preferences: she wants a good married life with a nice family. She isn't much into hobbies as far as I know. Ever since I have known her properly since March 2011 - her university life has dominated her. She takes unnecessarily too much stress in her uni life.
Click to expand...


kaayal said:
Unlike Mamoon,you have already done all the groundwork here. Now it's time to make her realise how you genuinely feel for her. So,be a man and make the move when you see her next time.:D

Texting,skype etc will not built that intensity unless you are sure about your relationship. And never give her brotherly care. That would be disastrous.

Good luck UP bhai. Hoping for the best result.:19:
Click to expand...

Pretty much what I was going to say. But dare I say it would be appropriate to maybe broach this topic on your text convo before, in an extremely subtle way, before unloading it all in person?

I mean, sure it would give her some breathing space to sort it all out.. Would make the situtation in the shaadi less do or die.. what do you say, girls?

[I'll probably reply back later - have 2 consecutive finals coming up. Pray for me, all! :)]
 
It's time you need to tell her directly how you feel and express your desires with utmost sincerity. Take the 1st step, send her a message. Wait for her to reciprocate, if not then move on. Carpe diem my friend, Carpe diem.
 
Nevertheless , you tried to made an eye contact and also thought about speaking. May be you are a "dhaka start", you got the push now increase the pace.
Another good sign is that her parents talked to you, may be they have an eye on you.:yk2

Boys like girls with good head on their shoulders where as girls like boys who have some attitude, keeping physique and income level constant.

Find her cell number to text her or make her friend on fb. One text would do, don't be irritating.

Just some poetry to add fuel to the fire !

A laugh revealing pearls,
A face beautiful as the moon,
Time is too narrow to contain them ;
But my heart does so.
 
Mamoon is not here hitherto,I am worried,ha!

And Mamoon a verse for you,you may not like it but it's completely relevant to your behaviour,it's probably uttered by Ghalib

Here it is
Tu hai harjai to apna bhi yahi taur sahi
tu nahin or sahi,or nahin or sahi:)))
 
More Ghalib for you.

aur bazar se le ayen agar tut gaya
sagar-e-jam se mera jam-e-sifal acha hai
 
blinding light said:
Really? I think that would have been very coy (with the propensity to ignite a flurry of varying emotions within Potential Bhabi [PB in short]) had he done that AFTER having a small conversation or two before that.

Imagine: this guy playing it cool yet still mild enough to make light comments, have a direct convo.. And suddenly, he refuses to give up his drink up for her (throw in a quizzical look with a raised eyebrow for max effect)..

I mean, if done right, it'd probably hit a chord somewhere inside PB, me thinks :)


As far as I know,he never talked to her directly and hesitated to hand over the drinks. I think he don't have the guts to face her directly or talk to her. I would advice him to first text her and remove that awkwardness first.



Pretty much what I was going to say. But dare I say it would be appropriate to maybe broach this topic on your text convo before, in an extremely subtle way, before unloading it all in person?

I mean, sure it would give her some breathing space to sort it all out.. Would make the situtation in the shaadi less do or die.. what do you say, girls?

True. Give her small hints like Qazzarfan's pickup line ''oh babe,you are a bomb''..:asif

[I'll probably reply back later - have 2 consecutive finals coming up. Pray for me, all! :)]

Don't worry BL, you will pass with flying colours.
I am also preparing for my exams...:)
Click to expand...
.
 
Mamoon,I just got online to see what happened with my brother and you are still not online.I left my studies because my curiosity was sky-high and couldn't control myself.:P
 
cricket083 said:
Mamoon,I just got online to see what happened with my brother and you are still not online.I left my studies because my curiosity was sky-high and couldn't control myself.:P
Click to expand...

Actually it show's on my screen that he is online :butt
 
Well , My case is even worst :P

its almost one year old story..
I have a spiritual attraction for my cousin and i like her since my childhood, I was a very very shy person in my teen age . i always wanted to talk her but never found that courage in me.
But one day as i was preparing for my 2nd year exam suddenly i received a text message on my cell phone from an anonymous number . I asked about the identity but she denied (probably she was nervous) I was already having a lot of stress because of my exams so i stopped replying to her texts considering that it must be someone from my friends trying to distract my concentration from studies . She send me a goodbye message and my curiosity forced me to call to that anonymous number ..

i called to that number and someone attended the call and without knowing anything i responded very agressively and my reaction was very harsh. After two minutes of one sided harsh wording i realised that i forgot to ask about the identity and when i did she responded with a Big sorry and told me who she is .. I Was shocked with the mixture of many feelings ( Pleasure +stupidity+anger + regret) . I wasnot able to say any single word and disconnected immediately.. After this incident both of us are in our shells again .. I Dont really know what to do and where to start :)
 
Mamoon said:
I didn't speak to her directly but it was a sort of a mutual discussion. She has a clear sweet voice and smells great too.....
Click to expand...

I loved the post, especially given how detailed it was, and you know my fascination with story-telling, but the above bit made my day:)))!

You see, it´s not easy to talk to the person you fancy. Hands, legs, feet (Saqs bhai, take note) all start to shiver. Heart beat reaches the record stage (which must have been previously set when you saw her the last time). "What do I say?" "What will she think if I say this or that?"

A conversation mostly kicks off with a question: you could easily have asked her where the toilet is, albeit it was your place and not hers, but it could have made her laugh.
 
Let me add to the poetry round with a few couplets of mine:

"Pehni thi Sherwani, lgayi hui thi tie,
Uff meri kismat! Wo phir bhi bolgayi bhai!"

"Teri khushi mey`n sabko "behn" keh gya,
Teri shaadi hui, doosro`n ki mohabbat se mehroom reh gya."
 
Mamoon, I was expecting good news!

Well, all I can add is, forget about her. At this rate, you're going absolutely nowhere. Don't you ever get to,see her when you're NOT surrounded by people? As in, do you guys go over to her house or something?

BTW, how old is she anyway?
 
blinding light said:
Well, if you want her to be your better half, then you have to do better than that!

Stalk her more if you have to, but the next time you meet, try and have a conversation. Even if its something like, "I'm gonna go get myself a glass of water, should I get you one too?"
Click to expand...

That's gonna totally give him away.
 
Also, good to see UP bhai finally seeking some expert advice. My phone conversation with him tend to be mentally exhausting for me just because of the number of times he asks me for advices on how to get things going with girls. I can take a rest now it seems.

On the other hand, it saddens me to see even him getting attention whereas an attention seeker like me has been totally brushed aside! Why? Just because I keep things to myself and don´t ask for tips?

Anyways, this stage of getting nervous because you fancy someone has thankfully evaded me. This can be so nervous and full of anxiety I think.

Three girls have disclosed their feelings to me, I ended up returning the favour in case of the second and the third one. So I have never initiated things!

My first love story:
She mainly liked my compassionate, loving attitude, also humour and the ability to make the atmosphere of 'that' wedding literally revolve around me. She sent me such romantic poetry in German when she expressed her feelings!

In that poetry, she called me "moon", "thief", my presence "sunshine" etc. When I declined at first, she wrote:

"For whom I left the world,
See you all, has left me for the sake of the world!"

Enough was enough by now:heart:! I returned the favour.

I was completely caught clueless as to what was going through in her mind throughout the two days at the wedding. She wept looking in my direction when she left, I was still clueless!

O´ girl, wherever you are, may God bless you, firstly because of the first feeling of love that you gave me, and for possessing such a beautiful heart. Things don´t always go our way, but..... no regrets for having engaged in love, an exalted emotion that it is!

Second love story:
Adding everything from the above qualities mentioned, here what adds are my philosophies, my deep thoughts, my okay-ish poetry. Another 'injured' without myself intending to do much damage. Ah´, please don´t ask me anything regarding this:) - purely going in with the foolish assumption that you lot will ask anything at all:)).

*A post full of self-obsessed attitude is finally over! Sorry for acting as if I am drunk.*
 
Last edited:
Say to her 'do you wanna date?' and if you're about to get rejected, say 'I bought a whole box from Saudi' lol halal lines

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Last edited:
Oh,there are too much posts in this thread that I missed the 404th post and that's is my blunder:P

It sounds like nothing special happened nor did Mamoon make her feel something.
 
Hahaha Haz95 that was hilarious!

Mamoon I'm not much experienced with girls but do you have any skill that you are good at (like the guitar)? Instead of you talking to her you can make her come and talk to you. You must have a fair idea of what songs she likes, if you are good at singing or at instruments then play one of those songs. It will make her see you in a different light. Okay so she likes Game of Thrones so why not start a discussion when all you cousins are together and try to involve her more in the conversation.

I actually had a cousin who liked me and I liked back when I was 17. But I think that was just my adolescence and I've gotten over it. She got married last year and is facing some troubles in her life and I kind of feel sad for her. I remember she held my shoulders once when the light went off as she was scared.
 
I used to like my cousin but he's my first cousin so that's just weird and awkward. Maybe I still do. :/
 
Mamoon has been missing for a while so I think it only reasonable to assume the girl's brother has found this thread and beat him within an inch of his life.

#satisfied :ibutt
 
@Mamoon:- You should make a twitter account with a random name and start following her. You should try to have a chat and you may build a decent relationship. You should never reveal your identity, though.

After some progress, we will discuss about the next step.
 
96NotOut said:
Talking to me?

He's my first cousin, that's what's weird.

Refer to the cousin marriages thread, read my post. I hope that gives you an idea. :)
Click to expand...

Yes talking to you,I just read your posts there,well,I am also not in the favor of cousin marriages.
 
Poison said:
Mamoon has been missing for a while so I think it only reasonable to assume the girl's brother has found this thread and beat him within an inch of his life.

#satisfied :ibutt
Click to expand...

Ouch! That would be sad..:(
 
All of our advice for Mamoon is useless because he seems too shy to do anything.

Unless she's a mean girl, which doesn't seem to be the case, you have nothing to fear from her. Treat her like a regular girl, get to know her. That's the number one step.

She's not going to come to you.
 
kaayal said:
What's up with all these ''cousin love'' guys?? Think out of the box.
Click to expand...

You can't help it, at least in my case.

I grew up with him and he's very good looking. Good thing we live waaaay apart from each other now.
 
I think his biggest fear is that if he makes any bold move towards her, she might freak out and complain to her patents who in turn would complain to mamoon's parents.
 
Men aren't supposed to be afraid.

Even if she freaks out, I don't think she'll be telling her parents. If she freaks out. It's most likely going to seem flattering.
 
^ I mean but wouldn't he feel confident about facing her parents after he knows her feelings for him?
Even in bolly movies first hero and heroin fall in love with each other and then the parents enter :P
 
Pakistani_Legend said:
@Mamoon:- You should make a twitter account with a random name and start following her. You should try to have a chat and you may build a decent relationship. You should never reveal your identity, though.

After some progress, we will discuss about the next step.
Click to expand...

I thought he already has twitter and follows her?
 
Punisher said:
Hahaha Haz95 that was hilarious!
Click to expand...
lol :P


And I don't understand how people can like their cousins at all...When you're young you play like friends with them and when you're older it just becomes weird and awkward. I found out that a cousin liked me and ever since then I've not lifted my face whenever she goes past and I go proper quiet and awkward. It's weird imo but who am I to wonder eh?
 
Last edited:
Poison said:
Mamoon has been missing for a while so I think it only reasonable to assume the girl's brother has found this thread and beat him within an inch of his life.

#satisfied :ibutt
Click to expand...

Haha.

This thread is already a classic. " Smells great" omg haha!
 
My advice to Mamoon bro....

Keep it cool and subtle. Do not act over the top or say anything silly. Keep it classy and respectful and if you get a chance alone with her just say I really like and respect you.
 
I think only Mamoon knows best what is bothering him but I think he is so overawed by her beauty that when it comes to putting the words he gets tense. Atleast that is what used to happen to me, don't focus too much on the external beauty bro, connect with her soul ;)
 
I must say that all these posts about "bravery" and "being afraid" are not pragmatic. You have to consider that she is from Mamoon's family. If something goes wrong, she may complain to her parents and they, in turn, may complain to Mamoon's parents. He will have to feel awkward and embarrassed for the rest of his life whenever their families meet.
 
Mamoon get her to register on pakpassion and then you can troll her all day lol Or probably you might stop trolling altogether to impress her lol.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Bhaag Viru Bhaag
Setback for Saif Ali Khan in ₹15000-crore Pataudi property dispute in Bhopal
Replies
10
Views
265
Bhaijaan
Bhaijaan
Cricket Warrior
"The permission to men for four marriages has been granted, but I am not doing it yet, that’s a different story," Danish Taimoor
Replies
5
Views
518
deltexas
D
I
Endemic rape culture of India
2
Replies
144
Views
2K
sweep_shot
sweep_shot
Hermoine Green
#GreenRoars - Rest In Peace kiddo
Replies
45
Views
829
LordJames
LordJames
Ball Blazer
Is IPL getting boring and losing its charm?
2
Replies
137
Views
3K
charlie007
C
Back
Top