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The complexity of getting married

Pakistani_Legend said:
I must say that all these posts about "bravery" and "being afraid" are not pragmatic. You have to consider that she is from Mamoon's family. If something goes wrong, she may complain to her parents and they, in turn, may complain to Mamoon's parents. He will have to feel awkward and embarrassed for the rest of his life whenever their families meet.
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I don't think girls go running around telling their parents to tell that a boy albeit their cousin says he likes her.
 
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Yeah but I don't think Pakistani girls are as conservative as they used to be in yester-years. Times have changed and more girls want to stand up for their rights and have good careers which is a good thing. Also I find girls more rebellious to society than men (who would'nt in the sort of society we live in). I might be generalizing quite a lot but it is my observation.

I'm talking when I was growing up around 2000, the concept of girlfriend and boyfriend was still not accepted. Nowadays, some families don't mind if you have a girlfriend.
 
This is the longest break that Mamoon took after posting this thread. Hopefully he is taking some practical steps now.
 
Besides, why would you tell someone unless the guy is really creeping you out?
 
Pakistani_Legend said:
I must say that all these posts about "bravery" and "being afraid" are not pragmatic. You have to consider that she is from Mamoon's family. If something goes wrong, she may complain to her parents and they, in turn, may complain to Mamoon's parents. He will have to feel awkward and embarrassed for the rest of his life whenever their families meet.
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IMO, that's the root of the problem.
 
96NotOut said:
Mamoon, I was expecting good news!

Well, all I can add is, forget about her. At this rate, you're going absolutely nowhere. Don't you ever get to,see her when you're NOT surrounded by people? As in, do you guys go over to her house or something?

BTW, how old is she anyway?
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She lives on the same street as my Dad. :yk

Her Mum and Dad come over regularly, and my Dad goes to their house too but we kids don't go for some reason. :kohli
 
Punisher said:
Hahaha Haz95 that was hilarious!

Mamoon I'm not much experienced with girls but do you have any skill that you are good at (like the guitar)? Instead of you talking to her you can make her come and talk to you. You must have a fair idea of what songs she likes, if you are good at singing or at instruments then play one of those songs. It will make her see you in a different light. Okay so she likes Game of Thrones so why not start a discussion when all you cousins are together and try to involve her more in the conversation.

I actually had a cousin who liked me and I liked back when I was 17. But I think that was just my adolescence and I've gotten over it. She got married last year and is facing some troubles in her life and I kind of feel sad for her. I remember she held my shoulders once when the light went off as she was scared.
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I can't play any musical instrument unfortunately.

I am decent at making paintings though.

Did you dance at her wedding?
 
Poison said:
Mamoon has been missing for a while so I think it only reasonable to assume the girl's brother has found this thread and beat him within an inch of his life.

#satisfied :ibutt
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She doesn't have a brother, two older sisters. Much older than me whom I used to fantasize about before they got married. :ajmal
 
Next time you go to your dad's, pay them a visit. Just say you were bored and thought of dropping by.
 
Pakistani_Legend said:
@Mamoon:- You should make a twitter account with a random name and start following her. You should try to have a chat and you may build a decent relationship. You should never reveal your identity, though.

After some progress, we will discuss about the next step.
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I made a fake Facebook account once and added her. She rejected my request.

Back when I used to use Facebook like 2 years ago, she once liked my comment over a family picture and I felt sort of giddy. :afridi

I deactivated my account soon after and she has stopped using Facebook as well.
 
Visiting her house? well that would be very awkward. I have been to her house to see her Dad when I was sick. He's a doctor.
 
GLORY OF '92 said:
My advice to Mamoon bro....

Keep it cool and subtle. Do not act over the top or say anything silly. Keep it classy and respectful and if you get a chance alone with her just say I really like and respect you.
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Respect you for what? :iqasim
 
Anfield said:
Mamoon get her to register on pakpassion and then you can troll her all day lol Or probably you might stop trolling altogether to impress her lol.
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I don't want her to feel bad by getting owned by me on every debate related to cricket like you guys. :yk2
 
Pakistani_Legend said:
I must say that all these posts about "bravery" and "being afraid" are not pragmatic. You have to consider that she is from Mamoon's family. If something goes wrong, she may complain to her parents and they, in turn, may complain to Mamoon's parents. He will have to feel awkward and embarrassed for the rest of his life whenever their families meet.
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Thank you for not adding salt to my wounds. Good post but then again, sometimes I feel dating within the family can be easier.

My Dad is pretty cool, if he finds out I am dating her he won't mind one bit but not sure about her parents and my Mum.
 
DHONI183 said:
Also, good to see UP bhai finally seeking some expert advice. My phone conversation with him tend to be mentally exhausting for me just because of the number of times he asks me for advices on how to get things going with girls. I can take a rest now it seems.

On the other hand, it saddens me to see even him getting attention whereas an attention seeker like me has been totally brushed aside! Why? Just because I keep things to myself and don´t ask for tips?

Anyways, this stage of getting nervous because you fancy someone has thankfully evaded me. This can be so nervous and full of anxiety I think.

Three girls have disclosed their feelings to me, I ended up returning the favour in case of the second and the third one. So I have never initiated things!

My first love story:
She mainly liked my compassionate, loving attitude, also humour and the ability to make the atmosphere of 'that' wedding literally revolve around me. She sent me such romantic poetry in German when she expressed her feelings!

In that poetry, she called me "moon", "thief", my presence "sunshine" etc. When I declined at first, she wrote:

"For whom I left the world,
See you all, has left me for the sake of the world!"

Enough was enough by now:heart:! I returned the favour.

I was completely caught clueless as to what was going through in her mind throughout the two days at the wedding. She wept looking in my direction when she left, I was still clueless!

O´ girl, wherever you are, may God bless you, firstly because of the first feeling of love that you gave me, and for possessing such a beautiful heart. Things don´t always go our way, but..... no regrets for having engaged in love, an exalted emotion that it is!

Second love story:
Adding everything from the above qualities mentioned, here what adds are my philosophies, my deep thoughts, my okay-ish poetry. Another 'injured' without myself intending to do much damage. Ah´, please don´t ask me anything regarding this:) - purely going in with the foolish assumption that you lot will ask anything at all:)).

*A post full of self-obsessed attitude is finally over! Sorry for acting as if I am drunk.*
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Even your love stories are filmy. :afridi
 
Sometimes when your so nervous about 'something' or 'someone' it is better to go full retard.
Just go and tell her that u love her! No 'if' no 'but'
Sure she might freak out but u need to get this thing off your chest.
 
Mamoon said:
I can't play any musical instrument unfortunately.

I am decent at making paintings though.

Did you dance at her wedding?
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I did'nt go as I was here in UK. But that was childhood for me and I'm way over that.

Well pictures are better than a thousand words so why don't you make a painting which expresses your feelings to her. Making a painting of her would be very creepy (maybe something you can do once you have a relationship with her, as all girls love compliments so use it in that respect).
 
Mamoon said:
I made a fake Facebook account once and added her. She rejected my request.

Back when I used to use Facebook like 2 years ago, she once liked my comment over a family picture and I felt sort of giddy. :afridi

I deactivated my account soon after and she has stopped using Facebook as well.
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This is alarming.

Perhaps she just does not want to indulge in a pointless relationship.
 
Are we going to discuss this thing until one of them or both of them get married? For 3, 4 , 5 or 7 years may be?

Mamoon do a little good to us and yourself by asking her out.
 
Go to her house with your dad, you don't have to talk to her. It'll be a way of showing her that you're a nice, mature dude if you get along well with her mom and dad.

They might even mention afterwards what a gentleman you are. Besides, I, as a girl, like guys who have manners and respect people. Especially my parents.
 
Marriage shouldn't be a religious obligation...everyone should have a right to choose their lifestyle...some people just don't want to handle the issues and responsibilities that come with marriage and end up ruining their lives due to religious/family/cultural pressures...in our great pakistani culture..we get married to a whole other family...welcome to hell
 
96NotOut said:
So you're telling me if a guy really, really likes you, you tell?

Obviously, if you love someone you might tell, but what if you're the one loved? Then they rarely tell.
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I only meant that there is also a possibility that they both like each other. :yk


If she thinks the guy really loves her then she won't but if she thinks he is just flirting or becoming irritating then there is a chance that she might complain some one.
 
Mamoon said:
I made a fake Facebook account once and added her. She rejected my request.

Back when I used to use Facebook like 2 years ago, she once liked my comment over a family picture and I felt sort of giddy. :afridi

I deactivated my account soon after and she has stopped using Facebook as well.
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You did a good job by deactivating your Facebook account. Facebook is rubbish.
 
Like I said, just ask her does she wanna date, if you get rejected, say to her I have a whole box from Saudi. It styles it out if it flops
 
The grammar in the idea is a bit flawed, though. Mamoon wants to impress her. If he uses such grammar, she may not be impressed and she may think that he is a jaahil.
 
I learnt a new word because of you, P_L - pragmatic. Thanks. :)

Plus, what's the flaw? As long as he he says "wanna", it should work.
 
96NotOut said:
I learnt a new word because of you, P_L - pragmatic. Thanks. :)

Plus, what's the flaw? As long as he he says "wanna", it should work.
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He should use 'classic' English. He shouldn't come across as a modern American hipster and wannabe.:uakmal
#Gentleman
 
Pakistani_Legend said:
He should use 'classic' English. He shouldn't come across as a modern American hipster and wannabe.:uakmal
#Gentleman
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#Gentleman, you could say you're welcome. :P I thanked you.

Well, if that's what you say. I don't think anyone speaks that slowly though, it'll probably come out "wanna" anyway. But on second thought, this is something he should avoid, as the guy in question cannot "make a clown laugh", in his own words.
 
96NotOut said:
#Gentleman, you could say you're welcome. :P I thanked you.

Well, if that's what you say. I don't think anyone speaks that slowly though, it'll probably come out "wanna" anyway. But on second thought, this is something he should avoid, as the guy in question cannot "make a clown laugh", in his own words.
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Thanks a bunch!

I agree with this post.
 
Mamoon said:
LOL, her perfume smelt great more like it.
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Let's not play with words;-).

Mamoon said:
Even your love stories are filmy. :afridi
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Which pretty much explains why I am so filmy. I suppose the girls in my case were which might have affected me. Have been loved immensely by both.

venomousx said:
Marriage shouldn't be a religious obligation...everyone should have a right to choose their lifestyle...some people just don't want to handle the issues and responsibilities that come with marriage and end up ruining their lives due to religious/family/cultural pressures...in our great pakistani culture..we get married to a whole other family...welcome to hell
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How strange it sounds to read a post that actually relates to the original topic of the thread.
 
I am not a funny guy at all. I like to talk about serious stuff most of the times so any attempts at humor are going to come out flat. :uakmal
 
She used the "F" word on Twitter 5 minutes ago and has used a few other sexual words before.
 
I expected this thread to die within 50 posts, instead it has become the go-to thread for many people. Hopefully it ends on a positive note. :ajmal
 
DHONI183 said:
Let's not play with words;-).


Which pretty much explains why I am so filmy. I suppose the girls in my case were which might have affected me. Have been loved immensely by both.



How strange it sounds to read a post that actually relates to the original topic of the thread.
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My smell comment got interpreted in the wrong fashion. :usman
 
I have already named the babies and the menu of the Walima dinner. :106:
 
All the "bravery" talk is much easier for us. Our brother's fears are not unfounded or baseless, especially given that she is from the family itself.

We may argue that girls usually don't tell their parents even if reject a guy, also that a girl might only tell the parents only if she feels that the guy in case is being too creepy on her, but what's the guarantee that she is not different to the rest of the girls? One has to think from brother's point of view to be able to understand the situation.

I can act as expert as I want to, but I have openly admitted to the fact that such a situation has never quite risen for me either. How many of you, whether girl or boy, have just approached the person that you might have fancied in a straight forward manner, particularly a cousin? It's just not easy! Deep down, a few of us, myself included, are just treating this for fun and don't really quite care what the consequences could be if she reacts negatively.

This fear and the "What if?" thoughts are just natural. I have complete understanding for him.

I will try to think of a serious advice if I can and may just message it to him. I really want the best for him now, jokes aside:).
 
DHONI183 said:
All the "bravery" talk is much easier for us. Our brother's fears are not unfounded or baseless, especially given that she is from the family itself.

We may argue that girls usually don't tell their parents even if reject a guy, also that a girl might only tell the parents only if she feels that the guy in case is being too creepy on her, but what's the guarantee that she is not different to the rest of the girls? One has to think from brother's point of view to be able to understand the situation.

I can act as expert as I want to, but I have openly admitted to the fact that such a situation has never quite risen for me either. How many of you, whether girl or boy, have just approached the person that you might have fancied in a straight forward manner, particularly a cousin? It's just not easy! Deep down, a few of us, myself included, are just treating this for fun and don't really quite care what the consequences could be if she reacts negatively.

This fear and the "What if?" thoughts are just natural. I have complete understanding for him.

I will try to think of a serious advice if I can and may just message it to him. I really want the best for him now, jokes aside:).
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Good post - my thoughts expressed in a better, elaborated manner.
 
In what context did she use the 'F' word .. what was she talking about?
 
Mamoon said:
I expected this thread to die within 50 posts, instead it has become the go-to thread for many people. Hopefully it ends on a positive note. :ajmal
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This depends on you.


Mamoon said:
I have already named the babies and the menu of the Walima dinner. :106:
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Mamoon living in fantasies.

May your dream come true.

By the way, what are you drawing? Draw her a John Snow may be?
 
Draw her a portrait of Game of thrones , and hand her as a gift telling her that you found that she liked GOT. :19:
 
Pakistani_Legend and I have a very good lesson for all lovers and would be lovers here in our signatures !
 
But seriously she s your cousin man. couldn't have you find someone else? Cousins are like sisters
 
If i were to draw something about game of thrones then i will make sure that Sandor The Hound gets a proper place.
 
Poison said:
In what context did she use the 'F' word .. what was she talking about?
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I thought you were keeping up with this thread only to see me crash and burn? :ajmal

She used it once in a sexual context and the other as an adjective.
 
waqar goraya said:
This depends on you.




Mamoon living in fantasies.

May your dream come true.

By the way, what are you drawing? Draw her a John Snow may be?
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I making paintings of people etc mostly. Haven't done one in ages though.
 
Making her a painting sounds quite extreme to be honest. What will her parents say?
 
Mamoon said:
Making her a painting sounds quite extreme to be honest. What will her parents say?
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Do as I say, if not anything u will be at peace with yourself and atleast say you tried.
Sometimes when your so nervous about 'something' or 'someone' it is better to go full retard.
Just go and tell her that u love her! No 'if' no 'but'
Sure she might freak out but u need to get this thing off your chest.
Genuine advice.
 
If she's 19, and you are 23/24 that means you've got a good 5 years until marriage? Take it slow and stop with the planning of kids' names and valima menu :))
 
Although I must say, this thread is probably the most entertaining one I've come across on PP for a while
 
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