Should parents be allowed to beat children?

[sweep_shot]

I personally think that parents should be allowed to beat children occasionally provided the beating is light. It can keep the children in check. It is necessary sometimes as some children can be quite stubborn.

In western countries, parents generally aren't allowed to beat children and sometimes children go astray because of lack of discipline.

Thoughts?

 

[andy0204]

In my school days I use to get beaten by my father due to low grades and misbehaving,Now I think they did right because I would be arrogant if they didn't beat during that time.
I don't think nowadays parents would beat up to their child.

 

[Sir-fraz]

I personally think that parents should be allowed to beat children occasionally provided the beating is light. It can keep the children in check. It is necessary sometimes as some children can be quite stubborn.

In western countries, parents generally aren't allowed to beat children and sometimes children go astray because of lack of discipline.

Thoughts?

Lol its called how you raise ur kids, set a good example and maybe they wont get out of line.

This is the most absurd thing i have ever heard.

Fact is majority of parents should not have kids because they do not understand how to raise a kid.

If u think u need to beat ur kids to keep them in line its because you could never be a good role model for your kids to look up to.

Set a good example. Monkey see monkey do.....

 

[Hitman]

No. No human being has the right to lay a finger on another human being.

 

[sweep_shot]

Back in 1998 (I was 7 or 8 then), I broke the remote controller of TV and my dad got furious. He beat me up with kitchen utensil. It was a great learning curve as I learned not to break another object again.

I think hitting can be a good thing sometimes provided you don't cross the boundary.

Many of the spoiled western kids are the results of weak parenting.

 

[dildilpak]

There are numerous ways of disciplining kids without beating them, but some people just can’t deal with their own frustrations, anger, stress so take it out on their kids. Basically beating a child shows that you just aren’t able to handle them.

Violence begets violence - so how’s it ok to teach a kid not to hit other kids/bully them in school, when you as a parent are teaching them its ok to do so?

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

Lol its called how you raise ur kids, set a good example and maybe they wont get out of line.

This is the most absurd thing i have ever heard.

Fact is majority of parents should not have kids because they do not understand how to raise a kid.

If u think u need to beat ur kids to keep them in line its because you could never be a good role model for your kids to look up to.

Set a good example. Monkey see monkey do.....

I think this is the best response. But maybe someone who has a particularly bratty kid can give us some first hand experience.

 

[Robert]

Mum used to smack me. Dad did once and I never cheeked him again. Even teachers hit us back then. Caused me no harm.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

Funnily enough my dad only smacked me once, and he had a temper. It was my mother as well who did the dirty work, and she used to deliver a loud slap across the face. Probably only happened a handful of times but she didn't hold back.

 

[miandadrules]

I personally think that parents should be allowed to beat children occasionally provided the beating is light. It can keep the children in check. It is necessary sometimes as some children can be quite stubborn.

In western countries, parents generally aren't allowed to beat children and sometimes children go astray because of lack of discipline.

Thoughts?

Were you beaten?

 

[miandadrules]

Back in 1998 (I was 7 or 8 then), I broke the remote controller of TV and my dad got furious. He beat me up with kitchen utensil. It was a great learning curve as I learned not to break another object again.

I think hitting can be a good thing sometimes provided you don't cross the boundary.

Many of the spoiled western kids are the results of weak parenting.

I’m sorry you had to go through that.

 

[sweep_shot]

Were you beaten?

I got beaten once in a while. It was quite common among Bangladeshi parents.

I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Looking back, I am glad that he did. It kept me in check.

 

[miandadrules]

I got beaten once in a while. It was quite common among Bangladeshi parents.



Looking back, I am glad that he did. It kept me in check.

Once again, I’m sorry you were subjected to it.

 

[Ronaldo7]

It should be allowed.
As long as it’s not too extreme, it helps a lot.

And people wonder why a lot of these white kids don’t respect their parents.

 

[rockyboy2018]

I ended up with so many mental issues after living in an abusive household. Purpose of my whole existence was how to get away from that surrounding and finally I ended up studying and Living in Germany. It took me 19 years to achieve this kind of freedom and everything my lack of confidence , anxiety, fear of unknwons, everything got evaporated.

Since Pakistanis are the champions of Islam and try to act like they are care takers of Islam. Show me one incident where Muhammad used to beat his daughter.

All the beatings I got from my dad both verbally and physically what it did it took away all my confidence and everything. I forgave him because had it not been his rough personality, I would not have even tried to venture out Pakistan and find a peaceful place to study and make a life for myself.

Had Elon Mask not been bullied in South Africa, he would not have ended up in Canada/USA and would not have an opportunity to grow his natural talent and skills. He would have faded in 9-5 Job somewhere in South Africa not be heard of ever again.

However, for me, If I had ever any kids, I would not even verbally abuse them let alone physically harm them because for me pain is very deep and no drug can heal it only once my soul leaves out my body, my mind would be at peace.

In Pakistan, if you are only praying 5 times a day, your sins are forgivable and you are a good human or else you hava a free ride to enjoy.

Thanks God I or my future kids will not beliving in Pakistani society even though my heart will always be with Pakistan because that country's passport had even allowed me to land in Germany and get away from abusive society by and large that is Pakistani society.

 

[Hitman]

I ended up with so many mental issues after living in an abusive household. Purpose of my whole existence was how to get away from that surrounding and finally I ended up studying and Living in Germany. It took me 19 years to achieve this kind of freedom and everything my lack of confidence , anxiety, fear of unknwons, everything got evaporated.

Since Pakistanis are the champions of Islam and try to act like they are care takers of Islam. Show me one incident where Muhammad used to beat his daughter.

All the beatings I got from my dad both verbally and physically what it did it took away all my confidence and everything. I forgave him because had it not been his rough personality, I would not have even tried to venture out Pakistan and find a peaceful place to study and make a life for myself.

Had Elon Mask not been bullied in South Africa, he would not have ended up in Canada/USA and would not have an opportunity to grow his natural talent and skills. He would have faded in 9-5 Job somewhere in South Africa not be heard of ever again.

However, for me, If I had ever any kids, I would not even verbally abuse them let alone physically harm them because for me pain is very deep and no drug can heal it only once my soul leaves out my body, my mind would be at peace.

In Pakistan, if you are only praying 5 times a day, your sins are forgivable and you are a good human or else you hava a free ride to enjoy.

Thanks God I or my future kids will not beliving in Pakistani society even though my heart will always be with Pakistan because that country's passport had even allowed me to land in Germany and get away from abusive society by and large that is Pakistani society.

I’m sorry to learn that. Do you have a good relationship with your father now?

 

[Itachi]

I ended up with so many mental issues after living in an abusive household. Purpose of my whole existence was how to get away from that surrounding and finally I ended up studying and Living in Germany. It took me 19 years to achieve this kind of freedom and everything my lack of confidence , anxiety, fear of unknwons, everything got evaporated.

Since Pakistanis are the champions of Islam and try to act like they are care takers of Islam. Show me one incident where Muhammad used to beat his daughter.

All the beatings I got from my dad both verbally and physically what it did it took away all my confidence and everything. I forgave him because had it not been his rough personality, I would not have even tried to venture out Pakistan and find a peaceful place to study and make a life for myself.

Had Elon Mask not been bullied in South Africa, he would not have ended up in Canada/USA and would not have an opportunity to grow his natural talent and skills. He would have faded in 9-5 Job somewhere in South Africa not be heard of ever again.

However, for me, If I had ever any kids, I would not even verbally abuse them let alone physically harm them because for me pain is very deep and no drug can heal it only once my soul leaves out my body, my mind would be at peace.

In Pakistan, if you are only praying 5 times a day, your sins are forgivable and you are a good human or else you hava a free ride to enjoy.

Thanks God I or my future kids will not beliving in Pakistani society even though my heart will always be with Pakistan because that country's passport had even allowed me to land in Germany and get away from abusive society by and large that is Pakistani society.

Your story could be an inspiration to people who are afraid of coming out through verbal and mental abuses. I will wish you have a smooth life from now on. Even if it does get rough, let's not fall into the same trap again.

Did you have to seek therapy in case you suspected repercussions from years of abuse?

 

[sweep_shot]

I ended up with so many mental issues after living in an abusive household. Purpose of my whole existence was how to get away from that surrounding and finally I ended up studying and Living in Germany. It took me 19 years to achieve this kind of freedom and everything my lack of confidence , anxiety, fear of unknwons, everything got evaporated.

Since Pakistanis are the champions of Islam and try to act like they are care takers of Islam. Show me one incident where Muhammad used to beat his daughter.

All the beatings I got from my dad both verbally and physically what it did it took away all my confidence and everything. I forgave him because had it not been his rough personality, I would not have even tried to venture out Pakistan and find a peaceful place to study and make a life for myself.

Had Elon Mask not been bullied in South Africa, he would not have ended up in Canada/USA and would not have an opportunity to grow his natural talent and skills. He would have faded in 9-5 Job somewhere in South Africa not be heard of ever again.

However, for me, If I had ever any kids, I would not even verbally abuse them let alone physically harm them because for me pain is very deep and no drug can heal it only once my soul leaves out my body, my mind would be at peace.

In Pakistan, if you are only praying 5 times a day, your sins are forgivable and you are a good human or else you hava a free ride to enjoy.

Thanks God I or my future kids will not beliving in Pakistani society even though my heart will always be with Pakistan because that country's passport had even allowed me to land in Germany and get away from abusive society by and large that is Pakistani society.

I have to say you were slightly mentally weak. What you went through is quite common with many brown kids. I have went through that phase myself but it didn't ruin my relation with parents. I actually think it made me a tougher and more capable person.

If you get pampered too much, you can turn into a sensitive beta male. I don't mean it in a disrespectful way.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

I ended up with so many mental issues after living in an abusive household. Purpose of my whole existence was how to get away from that surrounding and finally I ended up studying and Living in Germany. It took me 19 years to achieve this kind of freedom and everything my lack of confidence , anxiety, fear of unknwons, everything got evaporated.

Since Pakistanis are the champions of Islam and try to act like they are care takers of Islam. Show me one incident where Muhammad used to beat his daughter.

All the beatings I got from my dad both verbally and physically what it did it took away all my confidence and everything. I forgave him because had it not been his rough personality, I would not have even tried to venture out Pakistan and find a peaceful place to study and make a life for myself.

Had Elon Mask not been bullied in South Africa, he would not have ended up in Canada/USA and would not have an opportunity to grow his natural talent and skills. He would have faded in 9-5 Job somewhere in South Africa not be heard of ever again.

However, for me, If I had ever any kids, I would not even verbally abuse them let alone physically harm them because for me pain is very deep and no drug can heal it only once my soul leaves out my body, my mind would be at peace.

In Pakistan, if you are only praying 5 times a day, your sins are forgivable and you are a good human or else you hava a free ride to enjoy.

Thanks God I or my future kids will not beliving in Pakistani society even though my heart will always be with Pakistan because that country's passport had even allowed me to land in Germany and get away from abusive society by and large that is Pakistani society.

I have a cousin in Pakistan who is like your dad, calls himself chaudhury and basically swaggers around the district like he is Maula Jatt. He had 6 kids and if one of the younger lads stepped out of line, he would instruct them to fetch the stick he used to beat them with.

His kids all did well academically, and two of them found work in the US, and one is here now. They are all still fiercely loyal to their dad though, to a fault. But I guess maybe they grew up with a different mentality to you, possibly because their family were landowners and life wasn't that easy early on.

 

[sweep_shot]

A quote from a video game comes to my mind. This quote is from Assassin's Creed: Black Flag.

"You humbled me once, and I took that hard lesson, and I bettered myself. Die knowing that for all of our conflict, you helped make a soldier out of a scoundrel."

I think this quote is applicable here. Light beating once in a while can be beneficial. It can be seen as tough love.

 

[Saurav]

A quote from a video game comes to my mind. This quote is from Assassin's Creed: Black Flag.

"You humbled me once, and I took that hard lesson, and I bettered myself. Die knowing that for all of our conflict, you helped make a soldier out of a scoundrel."

I think this quote is applicable here. Light beating once in a while can be beneficial. It can be seen as tough love.

How is beating beneficial?If it is,adults should be beaten up too after every mistake

 

[Itachi]

I have to say you were slightly mentally weak. What you went through is quite common with many brown kids. I have went through that phase myself but it didn't ruin my relation with parents. I actually think it made me a tougher and more capable person.

If you get pampered too much, you can turn into a sensitive beta male. I don't mean it in a disrespectful way.

I don't see it as mentally weak. As for your case, in the latest posts, i have a feeling that you have very uncomfotable attitude/relationship towards woman which could stem from childhood. So think about for a minute, did your childhood invovled any such incidents which could lead up to that?

I too don't mean it in disrepectful way and correct me if i am wrong in my assumption.

 

[sweep_shot]

How is beating beneficial?If it is,adults should be beaten up too after every mistake

It is a bit like military hazing. New recruits in armies often go through this. It is to toughen up the individual. I see nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't go to extreme length.

 

[Saurav]

It is a bit like military hazing. New recruits in armies often go through this. It is to toughen up the individual. I see nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't go to extreme length.

So parenting is like military hazing?

 

[sweep_shot]

I don't see it as mentally weak. As for your case, in the latest posts, i have a feeling that you have very uncomfotable attitude/relationship towards woman which could stem from childhood. So think about for a minute, did your childhood invovled any such incidents which could lead up to that?

I too don't mean it in disrepectful way and correct me if i am wrong in my assumption.

My childhood was fine.

It is just that I am against radical feminists. This is a disease that has been allowed to grow by certain elements of society. I wish to see it reversed.

Anyway. Let's stick to the topic.

 

[sweep_shot]

So parenting is like military hazing?

Kind of. Yes.

Parents are supposed to raise kids well. Kids should be disciplined. Occasional light beating is part of that (if situation demands).

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

How is beating beneficial?If it is,adults should be beaten up too after every mistake

Well in your own country isn't that what happens? The subcontinent is infamous for mob violence and lynchings, and a shameful situation it is too. It is a good thing to learn civilised behaviour from western countries, I think contact with western culture will be a help to you guys in this regard.

 

[Saurav]

Kind of. Yes.

Parents are supposed to raise kids well. Kids should be disciplined. Occasional light beating is part of that (if situation demands).

Mostly parents themselves aren't disciplined.If they are,kids turn out alright without getting beaten etc.They learn by watching

 

[Saurav]

Well in your own country isn't that what happens? The subcontinent is infamous for mob violence and lynchings, and a shameful situation it is too. It is a good thing to learn civilised behaviour from western countries, I think contact with western culture will be a help to you guys in this regard.

Yup I don't support it

 

[sweep_shot]

Parents should be loving and caring. At the same time, they should be tough when it is required. That's what I am saying.

Many western kids swear at parents for silly and hilarious reasons. It is really absurd. Where is the manner?

 

[Saurav]

Parents should be loving and caring. At the same time, they should be tough when it is required. That's what I am saying.

Many western kids swear at parents for silly and hilarious reasons. It is really absurd. Where is the manner?

Parents never swear?

 

[rockyboy2018]

I witnessed my mom getting beaten physically by my dad at the age of 8 or 9 and I think that had a negative effect on the development of my mind. If I had a weak mentality, I could not have changed my surrounding. Even at 40% of my brain capacity not taking any medicines for addressing my mental issues, I am still getting good grades against students who do not have such issues to begin with because my mind is immuned to pain and works on pure will power. Coming back to University in a gap of 19 years is not easy.

Anyways, it is just that I can not behave like an average Pakistani where you have to swear and be macho for nothing. People who suffer from mental issues they understand what it feels like to be verbally abused more so if that verbal abuse is like 24/7. (No productive outcome in fights or throwing abusive words at each other and feel proud about t).


I also detest this girlish habit of Pakistani men in Pakistani society. For example, 9 out of 10 Pakistani men have this girlish habit of back biting and gossping about people behind their backs. I do not drive any pleasure in it so I mind my own business.

Nothing to do with being mentally weak or being a sensitive soul, I do not know it is something to do with genes or early upbringing. However, I am working on my skillsets and I am really blessed to be taught by Germans who are very comptetent and overqualified for their jobs.

They also give you feedback about your weaknesses without being nasty however if there is a Pakistani teacher or Pakistani person, the ntural comment would be like "a stupid laugh" or "You are Zero."

Knowing the fact that the later life I may have some peace and am away from that "pulling down society"- I feel like I am having a second life after living among Germans - very tough people both physically and mentally. There is nothing better I can ask for from God.

It has been my experience that people who suffer from mental illnesses are more closer to God. It is like they have developed a third eye to peneterate inside the body of a human being, feel and experience what other people are going through during tough times.

 

[sindhiboy]

beating has differing effects on children.

it can build them up or destroy them.

it is very difficult to determine what effect beatings will have on each individual child.

 

[sweep_shot]

Parents never swear?

Parents and children aren't same. A lot of modern western children are quite naive. They do stupid things (for example - eating Tide pods). What kind of idiot does that?

You want to see 100% love but that's not practical. You need law and order everywhere and that includes family.

 

[Saurav]

Parents and children aren't same. A lot of modern western children are quite naive. They do stupid things (for example - eating Tide pods). What kind of idiot does that?

You want to see 100% love but that's not practical. You need law and order everywhere and that includes family.

Law and order doesn't meant beating up weak people

 

[Ronaldo7]

Parents never swear?

Parents are parents.
Kids are kids.

How hard is that to understand?

The kid lives in the parent’s house for free until 18 (or even longer in the SC). The child’s costs are paid by the parents.

So they are NOT on the same level.

Kids are not grateful these days so an occasional, light beating is fine.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Law and order doesn't meant beating up weak people

You’re too soft for this world.
We’re only talking about a light slap not some full on beating

 

[Pakistanian]

No and I can't marry a girl that thinks that's okay.

There are better ways to discipline a kid and instill character.

 

[miandadrules]

The usual suspects perpetuating the cycle of abuse. They were abused as children and now insists it’s their right to abuse.

It’s a known phenomenon.

The justification is equally laughable. The tautology being trotted out that if a parents does it, it is by its nature for the benefit of the child.

I’d say you should be ashamed of yourself, but one would need some self respect to contemplate that.

 

[someone21]

Parents should be loving and caring. At the same time, they should be tough when it is required. That's what I am saying.

Many western kids swear at parents for silly and hilarious reasons. It is really absurd. Where is the manner?

West has also other strange things like mouth kissing children. On topic, beating is the wrong word, but more like hitting a child. Yes, children do a lot of hitting, so sometimes it's important for parents to explain them using the same such method.

 

[Pakistanian]

West has also other strange things like mouth kissing children. On topic, beating is the wrong word, but more like hitting a child. Yes, children do a lot of hitting, so sometimes it's important for parents to explain them using the same such method.

You shouldn't hit your kids, period. You should be able to assert authority without going psycho. You lead by example.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

I witnessed my mom getting beaten physically by my dad at the age of 8 or 9 and I think that had a negative effect on the development of my mind. If I had a weak mentality, I could not have changed my surrounding. Even at 40% of my brain capacity not taking any medicines for addressing my mental issues, I am still getting good grades against students who do not have such issues to begin with because my mind is immuned to pain and works on pure will power. Coming back to University in a gap of 19 years is not easy.

Anyways, it is just that I can not behave like an average Pakistani where you have to swear and be macho for nothing. People who suffer from mental issues they understand what it feels like to be verbally abused more so if that verbal abuse is like 24/7. (No productive outcome in fights or throwing abusive words at each other and feel proud about t).


I also detest this girlish habit of Pakistani men in Pakistani society. For example, 9 out of 10 Pakistani men have this girlish habit of back biting and gossping about people behind their backs. I do not drive any pleasure in it so I mind my own business.

Nothing to do with being mentally weak or being a sensitive soul, I do not know it is something to do with genes or early upbringing. However, I am working on my skillsets and I am really blessed to be taught by Germans who are very comptetent and overqualified for their jobs.

They also give you feedback about your weaknesses without being nasty however if there is a Pakistani teacher or Pakistani person, the ntural comment would be like "a stupid laugh" or "You are Zero."

Knowing the fact that the later life I may have some peace and am away from that "pulling down society"- I feel like I am having a second life after living among Germans - very tough people both physically and mentally. There is nothing better I can ask for from God.

It has been my experience that people who suffer from mental illnesses are more closer to God. It is like they have developed a third eye to peneterate inside the body of a human being, feel and experience what other people are going through during tough times.

Wow, I feel bad for you, it does sound like you had a terrible father. On the other hand it makes me appreciate my own family even more, both here and Pakistan, seems like I must have just hit lucky.

Bro, if I were you I would stay away from Pakistani forums, it will only jog painful memories. Maybe join a German forum and be happy.

 

[sweep_shot]

Law and order doesn't meant beating up weak people

Law and order means fixing tumor before it turns into cancer. A bit like this:

Cop used excessive force (and that was wrong) but you get my point.

 

[Pakistanian]

People that hit kids are mental, they should be locked up.

 

[DeadBall]

Do you mean but their own children or just random children?

 

[Saurav]

Law and order means fixing tumor before it turns into cancer. A bit like this:

Cop used excessive force (and that was wrong) but you get my point.

You condone this? Seriously?

Look at people's comments in the same video fgs

 

[sweep_shot]

You condone this? Seriously?

Look at people's comments in the same video fgs

I criticized both the cop and the teen. Both were wrong.

I was giving an example. I wouldn't have used this much force it was clear she wasn't getting up. Something had to be done.

 

[DeadBall]

Do you mean but their own children or just random children?

*beat

 

[someone21]

You shouldn't hit your kids, period. You should be able to assert authority without going psycho. You lead by example.

Hitting does not make you a psycho. Children always hit things, people. So parents hitting them if they make mistakes can help them understand it

 

[rockyboy2018]

Wow, I feel bad for you, it does sound like you had a terrible father. On the other hand it makes me appreciate my own family even more, both here and Pakistan, seems like I must have just hit lucky.

Bro, if I were you I would stay away from Pakistani forums, it will only jog painful memories. Maybe join a German forum and be happy.

I am just trying to figure out where this justification of beating/hitting a helpless kid by a full grown-up adult father comes from and this is the only best approach to self-discipline a kid?

I am more of an observer than a reader and a preacher of Islam. So if any Pakistani person can justify this kind of parenting from a religious point of view, then I may stand corrected. I am open to learning.

There are countless men who got bullied and got beaten up by their dads went on to achieve so many macho things (unlike internet warriors). David Goggins is one of them.

Please watch this video from the beginning to the end and you always have another shot at improving your life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tSTk1083VY&t=4s

 

[sweep_shot]

Do you mean but their own children or just random children?

.

Own children.

Not married yet. Just a hypothetical scenario.

 

[miandadrules]

Hitting does not make you a psycho. Children always hit things, people. So parents hitting them if they make mistakes can help them understand it

Women too?

 

[Saurav]

I criticized both the cop and the teen. Both were wrong.

I was giving an example. I wouldn't have used this much force it was clear she wasn't getting up. Something had to be done.

What if the same thing was done by a stronger adult?Would cop still dare to do what he did?

 

[sweep_shot]

What if the same thing was done by a stronger adult?Would cop still dare to do what he did?

Our North American cops generally take care of that very well.

This is why good discipline from an early age is needed.

Again, not condoning anything and not taking any side. Just wanted to highlight importance of discipline.

 

[DeadBall]

I am just trying to figure out where this justification of beating/hitting a helpless kid by a full grown-up adult father comes from and this is the only best approach to self-discipline a kid?

Had a similar situation like you with my father. Heard he was asking for me on his deathbed for forgiveness. Didn't give him the satisfaction nor did I go to his funeral.

Have learnt to forgive him with time and my experiences in life in general and as a father. Sure we all go through tough times but taking it out on a child is no excuse and is a very cowardly thing to do.

 

[shaz619]

It's not productive and you don't want to take all fear away from a child, that is so destructive in the long run. A smack here and there is not too bad but beyond that the savage stuff we need to understand the heart of the matter; it generally is a manifestation of a larger problem which sometimes can go beyond the child having made a mistake. But the best thing is to learn from it all so you can raise your own children one day accordingly if you are blessed hopefully.

 

[sweep_shot]

It's not productive and you don't want to take all fear away from a child, that is so destructive in the long run. A smack here and there is not too bad but beyond that the savage stuff we need to understand the heart of the matter; it generally is a manifestation of a larger problem which sometimes can go beyond the child having made a mistake. But the best thing is to learn from it all so you can raise your own children one day accordingly if you are blessed hopefully.

Never condoned savage stuff. I was referring to light beating here and there (only if necessary). Mild disciplinary action was what I was referring to.

Again, not possible to do in Canada. Just a hypothetical scenario.

 

[Pakistanian]

Never condoned savage stuff. I was referring to light beating here and there (only if necessary). Mild disciplinary action was what I was referring to.

That's really up to you, there's nobody stopping your kids from calling CPS and pressing charges on you.

 

[sweep_shot]

That's really up to you, there's nobody stopping your kids from calling CPS and pressing charges on you.

No kids yet and not married yet. I know fully well I can't do it in Canada. I can do it in Bangladesh, however.

All are hypothetical scenarios. Relax. I am just trying to discuss pros and cons.

 

[rockyboy2018]

Had a similar situation like you with my father. Heard he was asking for me on his deathbed for forgiveness. Didn't give him the satisfaction nor did I go to his funeral.

Have learnt to forgive him with time and my experiences in life in general and as a father. Sure we all go through tough times but taking it out on a child is no excuse and is a very cowardly thing to do.

My father had both bad and good qualities I already forgave him in my heart he wished me good success for education in German and I visited his graveyard last year and I am almost about to finish my bachelor's degree this year and I am going to dedicate it to my late father.

The problem with mental scars and mental issues, in general, is that people can not understand your pain and suffering they think there is no pain going on, unlike physical pain.
Kids remember pictures very well for many years even though they could not fight their way back.
And, while hitting kids parents have no freaking idea about what is going on inside a kid's head.
Is their confidence level getting shaken up? How are they perceiving it? How is their mental development going to be shaped up?

 

[shaz619]

Never condoned savage stuff. I was referring to light beating here and there (only if necessary). Mild disciplinary action was what I was referring to.

Again, not possible to do in Canada. Just a hypothetical scenario.

I was generally speaking but see where you are coming from, it comes down to how you go about raising a child to; disciplinary action can take many forms

 

[sweep_shot]

Had a similar situation like you with my father. Heard he was asking for me on his deathbed for forgiveness. Didn't give him the satisfaction nor did I go to his funeral.

Have learnt to forgive him with time and my experiences in life in general and as a father. Sure we all go through tough times but taking it out on a child is no excuse and is a very cowardly thing to do.

What if child starts to sleep around and starts failing in class and do all sorts of other bad things (drugs, alcohol etc.)? How do you propose fixing that child? Let's forget about the hitting part.

 

[AdamM97]

I don’t believe in beating your kids and torturing them, however parents need to have some amount of control over their children. Parental intervention is good and necessary at times.

 

[Cpt. Rishwat]

What if child starts to sleep around and starts failing in class and do all sorts of other bad things (drugs, alcohol etc.)? How do you propose fixing that child? Let's forget about the hitting part.

If they're old enough to sleep around and do drugs, they aren't really a child any more. I doubt a beating is going to make much difference at that point. You might even get one back.

 

[pakistanisgreat]

I ended up with so many mental issues after living in an abusive household. Purpose of my whole existence was how to get away from that surrounding and finally I ended up studying and Living in Germany. It took me 19 years to achieve this kind of freedom and everything my lack of confidence , anxiety, fear of unknwons, everything got evaporated.

Since Pakistanis are the champions of Islam and try to act like they are care takers of Islam. Show me one incident where Muhammad used to beat his daughter.

All the beatings I got from my dad both verbally and physically what it did it took away all my confidence and everything. I forgave him because had it not been his rough personality, I would not have even tried to venture out Pakistan and find a peaceful place to study and make a life for myself.

Had Elon Mask not been bullied in South Africa, he would not have ended up in Canada/USA and would not have an opportunity to grow his natural talent and skills. He would have faded in 9-5 Job somewhere in South Africa not be heard of ever again.

However, for me, If I had ever any kids, I would not even verbally abuse them let alone physically harm them because for me pain is very deep and no drug can heal it only once my soul leaves out my body, my mind would be at peace.

In Pakistan, if you are only praying 5 times a day, your sins are forgivable and you are a good human or else you hava a free ride to enjoy.

Thanks God I or my future kids will not beliving in Pakistani society even though my heart will always be with Pakistan because that country's passport had even allowed me to land in Germany and get away from abusive society by and large that is Pakistani society.

cultural thing and Islamic things are two different things. Our parents do not beat us because of Islam.
It has become cultural thing. I was beaten few times just because neighbor's kid same ages as mine got better result in school. I was beaten because other kids always study not me.
I never got beaten because not praying all the time.

 

[rockyboy2018]

cultural thing and Islamic things are two different things. Our parents do not beat us because of Islam.
It has become cultural thing. I was beaten few times just because neighbor's kid same ages as mine got better result in school. I was beaten because other kids always study not me.
I never got beaten because not praying all the time.

Does not seem like a civilized society. Your competition should always be with yourself not with some other students in the neighborhood. All this extra competition with cousins and friends put a lot of extra stress on you to compete. Follow your dreams, not someone's else dreams. Why not create an environment at home that encourages learning? How would a son develop a penchant for reading books when he never saw a father reading books at home? How would a son develop empathy and love for others when he never experienced it in the first place?

 

[DeadBall]

The problem with mental scars and mental issues, in general, is that people can not understand your pain and suffering they think there is no pain going on, unlike physical pain.
Kids remember pictures very well for many years even though they could not fight their way back.
And, while hitting kids parents have no freaking idea about what is going on inside a kid's head.
Is their confidence level getting shaken up? How are they perceiving it? How is their mental development going to be shaped up?

Can understand this perfectly. If my father used to have a bad day at work he would call around 3ish when I would be back home from school, mention some random reason and tell me to get ready for the *** whooping I was about to get when he got home.

The mental torture of waiting for the actual beating for 3-4 hours was much worse than the beating itself.

Also a beating I quite looked forward to as the alternatives were being locked in a dark toilet with cockroaches, being tied to a palm tree on a sizzling day on the weekend etc. The guy was creative if nothing else.

 

[DeadBall]

If they're old enough to sleep around and do drugs, they aren't really a child any more. I doubt a beating is going to make much difference at that point. You might even get one back.

This, in fact I remember I had a growth spurt when I was around 14 and I held his hand when he tried to hit me and told him that this would be the last time he would raise his hand on me if he wanted to keep it.

The physical abuse stopped after that but the verbal abuse continued when he couldn't find a suitable exit for his frustrations something I didn't give two hoots about (and made a big show out of letting him know) which angered him even more to my delight.

 

[DeadBall]

What if child starts to sleep around and starts failing in class and do all sorts of other bad things (drugs, alcohol etc.)? How do you propose fixing that child? Let's forget about the hitting part.

You are still in hypothetical mode because you still haven't experienced being a parent or adult life in general. If you bring a kid up right with love, understanding, teaching them the right morals and yes being stern when the time requires there is very little chance they will turn up bad.

As Cap mentioned if the kid is old enough to be sleeping around, which I don't consider a bad thing btw as it is natural, nor do I consider some experimentation with drugs and alcohol as bad as it is an age when you are the most curious and it is better to try it then when you don't have much to lose and get it out of tour system as opposed to when you have a family, job etc.

If however they do go down the wrong path then your only option at that age is to try to understand the problem and help them through it, the more you try to punish them, the more they will rebel.

 

[sweep_shot]

If they're old enough to sleep around and do drugs, they aren't really a child any more. I doubt a beating is going to make much difference at that point. You might even get one back.

If I have a child like that, I would tell him/her to pack and leave. I don't need a child like that and I am unlikely to seek forgiveness at my deathbed.

 

[AdamM97]

Reading some of the posts on this thread, I think we need to make a distinction between a parent who disciplines his children and a parent who is abusive towards his children.

My dad used to beat me and it honestly made many aspects of my life better(and no, I don’t suffer from Stockholm Syndrome lol). My dad used to be a perfectionist, whereas I used to be messy and had a hard time keeping up with a schedule. Over time, I learned to become more punctual, organized and simply a better person due to my dad’s disciplinary action and him making me join a football team and play combat sport at a young age.
I was also watching Khabib Nurmagomedov’s interviews where he claimed that his dad’s disciplinary actions and beatings played a huge role in shaping him as a human and a fighter.

Many people on this thread had to unfortunately live with abusive parents who beat their kids just for the sake of it. Maybe that’s why I’m less against beating your kids compared to others on this thread. I guess, different experiences lead to different opinions.

 

[sweep_shot]

Reading some of the posts on this thread, I think we need to make a distinction between a parent who disciplines his children and a parent who is abusive towards his children.

My dad used to beat me and it honestly made many aspects of my life better(and no, I don’t suffer from Stockholm Syndrome lol). My dad used to be a perfectionist, whereas I used to be messy and had a hard time keeping up with a schedule. Over time, I learned to become more punctual, organized and simply a better person due to my dad’s disciplinary action and him making me join a football team and play combat sport at a young age.
I was also watching Khabib Nurmagomedov’s interviews where he claimed that his dad’s disciplinary actions and beatings played a huge role in shaping him as a human and a fighter.

Many people on this thread had to unfortunately live with abusive parents who beat their kids just for the sake of it. Maybe that’s why I’m less against beating your kids compared to others on this thread. I guess, different experiences lead to different opinions.

Exactly!

I never supported abuse. There is a difference between a light slap and torture. I got hit by my parents many times (never anything major) and I still get along fine with them.

People are shaped by their experiences I guess.

 

[CricVet]

People need to understand that even the wildest of animals become friendly and well behaved with proper training and care from early age. The same applies to humans.

If we do not spend enough time with kids to nurture them, the only short cut left is to act violent which can be very detrimental for the kids in the future.

I do understand however that life is not perfect. There are parents busy to survive providing better life to their children; they have no time and then energy left to spend on kids for proper upbringing and hence have to use shortcuts for quick fix. No parent would like to see their children suffer. They use the beating as lost resort just as Misbah trying to find the top gear to get to the target after tuktuking and therefore it mostly ends in not so much of a desired result.

 

[sindhiboy]

People need to understand that even the wildest of animals become friendly and well behaved with proper training and care from early age. The same applies to humans.

If we do not spend enough time with kids to nurture them, the only short cut left is to act violent which can be very detrimental for the kids in the future.

I do understand however that life is not perfect. There are parents busy to survive providing better life to their children; they have no time and then energy left to spend on kids for proper upbringing and hence have to use shortcuts for quick fix. No parent would like to see their children suffer. They use the beating as lost resort just as Misbah trying to find the top gear to get to the target after tuktuking and therefore it mostly ends in not so much of a desired result.

agree with the misnbah analogy, dont be careless and then try to go bang at the end to compensate for the lethargy in the beginning. Instead, maintain a balanced approach from the beginning so you dont have to be extreme

 

[ManFan]

There is a difference between discipline and abuse as others have mentioned.

Nobody should be beaten with a belt or a pipe but no reprimand leads to dangerous circumstances as they grow older. (Have seen the latter with my own eyes).

 

[minamino]

Definitely no. I have a few cases in my family where the parents used to beat their kids which made kids very violent.

 

[Darkrai]

From my experience, those who received a beating for misbehaving turned out much better than those who didn't. A good example of this is how my cousins turned out. One who is an engineer still says if his dad didn't beat him he would have never gotten to where he is now. Others who were also disciplined are in medicine and high positions in the army. Those who were not punished, some of them never completed their education. One of them is now well above the age of 30, but he still refuses to get a job.

As far as I know, those who were punished as children, none ended up suffering from mental issues. Considering this is normal and expected, all you need to do is be disciplined to avoid punishment. Unless you have messed up parents who beat you for the smallest of mistakes or no reason at all. That is a different case altogether.

 

[kingusama92]

No.

And hitting a child with an object (i.e. belt) is disgraceful.

 

[minamino]

Those cousins of mine used to get beaten up by hangers and heels. I have never ever been beaten up like that. My mom might have slapped me here and then but that’s it. My dad has never beaten me up and he has shown his anger to me but now I reply with same aggression to him

 

[DeadBall]

From my experience, those who received a beating for misbehaving turned out much better than those who didn't. A good example of this is how my cousins turned out. One who is an engineer still says if his dad didn't beat him he would have never gotten to where he is now. Others who were also disciplined are in medicine and high positions in the army. Those who were not punished, some of them never completed their education. One of them is now well above the age of 30, but he still refuses to get a job.

As far as I know, those who were punished as children, none ended up suffering from mental issues. Considering this is normal and expected, all you need to do is be disciplined to avoid punishment. Unless you have messed up parents who beat you for the smallest of mistakes or no reason at all. That is a different case altogether.

It's all about context. A child actually likes to be praised when they do something good or be reprimanded when they do something naughty as they seek attention.

There is a difference between being reprimanded and being abused. Your cousins were most likely disciplined by caring parents and not tormented by a psychopath. Things could have turned out very differently for them if it was the latter.

There is no way to gauge the intentions of a parent when punishing a child so the best thing is to ban it all together. Better safe than sorry.