DHONI183
A departed friend who will live in our memories fo
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- Aug 23, 2007
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lol it was easy to guess anyway
great poem though![]()
Why didn´t you guess, then? Liar!
Also, thanks
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lol it was easy to guess anyway
great poem though![]()
And that's the story i mentioned before DHONI183 lol, i cut it down by 3000 words and it's a short-story draft, but as its around 5,000 words it can still be classed as a short-story. But there definenetly is more to add to the story, i have more to write. I don't read many books or study the technical aspects of writing so my skills are rubbish, but i still love writing and wish to improve on them one day when i get more free time. I hope you guys like it, and any sought of feeback on how i can improve or any abuse directed at me is welcomehaha
..... 4. Your still hurting aren’t you, how could she possibly deceive you in such a way, she broke your heart and you didn’t understand why. How could she break your heart when she didn’t even leave you all of a sudden or cheat on you? You were so close to her and then suddenly she began to gradually go far away from you and eventually stopped feeling close to you which hurt you more than anything, how is it that you began to start feeling for the first time in your life?. But why should you be bothered about all of this, it’s meaningless because of what you were hoping to achieve or is that what you would say to yourself to make you feel better about everything.
You tried all you could to get her to feel close to you again, but you cannot deny that deep down you knew it wouldn’t work. Nothing works by force it has to happen naturally, you had lost her forever and then became nothing but merely a friend. A friend you say? You thought after all you gave her, the label of a friend was the biggest insult against you but it is what you deserved in the first place. She was nothing but an experiment for you just like everything else in your pursuit for why humans feel the way they do and what love is exactly? Something which eluded the great man Leonardo himself, you had to find its constituents.
And for that she was perfect for you. But not all went to plan did it; you would work tirelessly and recorded each and every experience with her analyzing each one over and over again in the hope of developing some sought of a theorem. And then along the way you fell in love with her when throughout your life you had promised never to feel emotion and why would you anyway you have always been feeling-less haven’t you.
Once you began loving her you didn’t care about any experiment or the things far more important than your own personal motives and gains…….. And then she stopped feeling close and your five minutes of pleasure was over. Making someone feel special and being loved was the most beautiful thing in the world, but you had insulted Leonardo you failed him and you failed yourself.
The sacrifice had to be made but you had a choice and do you really feel it was the wrong one? You don’t really know do you, just think of what you could have achieved if your experiment had not been destroyed.
You had to do it in the end and you are certain she wouldn’t have minded because she loved you, but at that time it was important you kept it a secret. You have spoken to her about it now and she completely understands that it had to be done. The evidence which showed you had felt which led to the demise of the experiment that Leonardo could have been proud of had to be destroyed. You jumped out the aircraft during flight.
Why didn´t you guess, then? Liar!
Also, thanks.
Thanks for sort of keeping the promise. I really liked it, particularly the part below......
Well, who would have expected me to write this? However, the start itself clarifies the reason behind it.....
A poem penned for (Mohammad) Hafeez
"Here's a poem penned for (Mohammad) Hafeez,
Without it, I won't be left at any ease,
A fan of him has asked this,
An order in the form of request it is!
For her sake, I will have to exaggerate,
I can only request people to tolerate,
Composed from her point of view, seeing the craze,
I had no option but to write all the praise.
..........
Sublime is his timing when he bats,
It can make people take off their hats,
Just a flick of the wrist goes for a four,
An ability that many people adore,
About his bowling I can write much more,
Added by a professor-like attitude not seen before,
Turn to him if you want to defend any score,
Simply give him the ball!
His spin bowling can even remove a wall.
His economical spells produce a false stroke,
Others take the wickets, but the credit goes to this bloke.
His pressure makes the batsmen choke.
Left-handed batsmen fear him a lot,
Can they survive? No, they cannot!
I advise them to focus, not to look around,
If they offer no shot, look at the timber, hear the sound!
If they hit the ball, the edge of the bat is easily found!
Fear the day when he will captain the side,
His team will then have a successful ride,
We all hope so at least,
That his team will conquer the West and the East."
Poem (written by Rawal Afzal) completed at 19:28 PM CEST, 28th May 2013.
Skinny jeans and my t-shirt is rolled up
Everytime I meet someone I say them wassup
Hair carefully done, its what we call a ‘mohawk’
When people go to pray I look at them with shock.
“Dude, we are young now, let us jus party
Prayers can be done once we are over forty.
Give me a drink, along with that puff
Of me the girls, jus cant get enuff.”
They say, “Brother, my muslim brother, come back to the right track"
I use the choicest of words and tell them to get off my back.
They smile kindly as they leave, and say, smiling is a sunnah
I scowl at them, at my own Prophets ummah.
I make fun of them and their conditions,
Forgetting that we are all Allahs creations.
They see me in the corridor and saying salam, they greet me
I turn away in the other direction, pretending not to hear, not to see
They invite me to the masjid, in a congregation to pray
I say “later bro, my prayer later I shall say’
I smoke and I drink
If my sins had a smell
How much will I stink
Only Allah can tell.
In trouble the day I fell
To all my friends I went to tell
They told, “Dude, in good times you used to brag
Now please don’t nag”
The girls said, “Things will get better, we have a party to catch
The guys said, ”Dude, just chill, see you after the cricket match
When I wanted my friends the most, there was no one there
Just then I heard the azaan, and I felt Someone cares.
I entered the masjid and I remembered my past
Drinks, cigarettes, girls, lies - none of these shall last
Asked Allah for forgiveness, asked Allah to clean my mess
And by Allahs will, I left the masjid, and in my heart, was true happiness.
The recent appreciation by Dhoni got me out of my slumber and made me conceive another poem. Once again, all credit to Dhoni for inspiring me to write.
Here it goes:
The inanity of our lives
The vanity of our nature
The brutality of our wars
The frugality of our wagers
The formality of our customs
The triviality of our labors
The irrationality of our thought
The lethality of our failures
The poverty of our minds
The duality of our behavior
The triviality of our games
The mortality of our saviors
The magnanimity of your heart
The reality of your existence
The spirituality of your soul
The impartiality of your essence
The morality of your wisdom
The totality of your coalescence
The actuality of your being
The vitality of your benevolence
The hospitality of your character
The universality of your luminescence
The neutrality of your thought
The finality of your omnipresence
I have a friend,
Who always has a hand to extend
Someone who I can call the best
Who always makes me feel blessed
Your always there
When life seems unfair
You always show me that you care
When I am lost in despair
Even when I'm having a bad day
Your the friend who always has the time to stay
When no one has the time to talk
You’re the friend who does more and offers a walk
You have some sorta spell
that makes me well
Whenever I'm feeling down,
You raise me up from my frown
I hope that everyone has a friend like you
Because you are the one whos always true
Now I'll end the line by something you already know
I love you more then what I could show
Conversation went on
Even when things weren't told
My black heart tells a different story
A different story my lips told.
Half truths garnished with tall tales
Pinch of truth and icing of lies.
Flattered by empty words
It all comes down to goodbyes.
What is the point of 'honesty'
If its just another word in my diction
Honesty will be, truly, honesty
Only when it will be found in my actions.
What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful revival of this thread! If it indeed covers a true story, you are one lucky guy to have been blessed with such a friend
.
Its been such a long time
And still feels like I commited a crime
I know I dropped the dimeee
But atleast readd this rhyme :$
Im sorry for what I did
I was a stupid little kid
That made a tear fall from your eyelid
And then all I did was hid
Im sorry for making you cry
Leaving you high And dry
without a proper Goodbye
And being no different from a bad guy
Im sorry for being a dickless wonder
Please forgive me for my huge blunder
It probably caused your heart a big thunder
And made me feel like I made a plunder
Im sorry for hurting your heart
And Making it fall apart
then making myself depart
I hope we can restart
But seriously can you atleast talk
and then maybe take a walk
Maybe around the block
Whatever you can draw, you got the chalk
I know you hate me a lot
Me talking to you is a long shot
But please have a soft spot
So i'll end this right after the dot.
Lol not anymore![]()
When struggle becomes the nick name of life
When sun rays reach but shine not
When full moon is seen but admired not
Thats when we survive, but live not.
When our happiness becomes the focal point of our life
And we smile, but thank not
About others sufferings we think not
All the blessings we received; we forgot.
shikasta pa mosam mein ujala bhool jata hun
kisi ko yaad karta hun , hawala bhool jata hun
samander kay darmiyan faseelain hain bari bari
ban kar bhanwar ka niwala ,bhool jata hun
gham de kar bhi gham e dunya se jeena seekha
dukhon ka madawa kia cheez hay,azala bhool jata hun
jannat mein hi bas sukoon ki arzoo hei
kab yeh ho gaya tahobala bhool jata hun
meray naye nishter par yeh khoon ka nuqta kesa
kab niyaam se tha nikala bhool jaata hun
tumhari tasveer ka samar har rang ujala lagta hai
safaid yaad rehta hai , **** bhool jata hun
It all started when I first layed my eyes upon You
It was at that moment when my heart Flew
And when my first breathe of love Blew
My heart was stuck to you like Glue
I still can't explain that Feeling
It was like I could stand and reach the Ceiling
And also if I was down and Kneeling
That's when I knew it was you that was doing the stealing
Then we use to meet during Lunch Time
Skipping class and committing a Crime
Hugging you and making a Rhyme
But boy did I really drop the Dime
Our favourite song from Jab Thak Hai Jaan
But I was such a terrible InSaaan
That song had you and I Drawn
Now all of that is Gone
I guess our relationship wasn't meant to Swim
Even though we loved eachother Limb by Limb
Chances of you and I being together are very Slim
But I pray to God this was just a PreLim
Even though movies are Fake
They too have some sort of a heart Ache
That makes both of their hearts Flake
But sadly not with a lot at Stake
This was as real as it could Get
But went quicker then a flying Jet
Quicker than a speeding Corvette
And now forgotten like a old Cassette
I guess this was our Fate
And that you weren't my soul Mate
You were right when you said we should Wait
Now I'm here alone, listening to my increasing heart Rate
I guess God didn't approve of this relationShip
He gave us the good old pink Slip
Taking us both on a guilt Trip
Should have just given us a good pistol Grip
They say every love story has it's own Time
We knew what ours was like, think of it as a Crime
This wasn't our relationships Prime
Don't worry, there'll be a time with you when I say this Rhyme
This time wasn't Ours
It was like trying to catch the Stars
Or Escaping from jail Bars
But it still left it's Scars
But with all that happened, it doesn't mean that the love wasn't there.
I am promise we'll be together whether it's now or in the future, this will be my prayer.
I want you to know that I still to this day Care
Our love story will exactly be like a movie, our love story will be Rare
I don't know what else to say
So I'll end the line with something you know
I love you more than what I could Show
"Har ishq ka ek waqt hota hai ... woh waqt hamara nahi tha ... iska matlab ye nahi ki woh ishq nahi tha"
"Every love has its own time ... that time was not ours ... but that doesn't mean that the love itself wasn't there"
- Jab Thak Hai John
Autograph please.
Man, I am struck by your talent! I read it with all my heart and tried to be you whilst reading this to understand it to the depths.
Amazing! This world consists of so many different personalities, faces etc., but so many of us are so similar. Believe me, I have read it more than five times by now. Lovely piece of poetry. This indeed is a thread for talented people like you.
By the way, which song was it from film 'Jab Tak Hai Jaan' 2012, that you have mentioned in your poem above? Let me guess: "Saans Mey´n Teri Saans Mili Tou.... " (?)....
Lol, yes Saans, How did you know bhai?
and thanks bhai, this is what I do when I am in devdas mood, and I am actually so happy you read it right now! its 3:06am where I live.
The autumn of 2009
"In year 2009, in the season of autumn,
You touched my heart at its bottom,
It was at a wedding that we met,
An event for which I have no regret.
You disclosed the secret 17 days after, on the 28th,
My turn to answer brought a long wait,
Till six o`clock, my heart beat at a rapid rate,
The time arrived, you failed to answer my call,
I had realised of my heart's downfall,
Hoping for it not to matter,
I called you again an hour later,
Plan was to hide my feelings, to make you see sense,
I don't know when I fell for the innocence,
When I uttered the truth, my heart did shiver,
But the feeling for you was an ever-flowing river.
It was childish to expect any good outcome,
Without the clouds for the rain to come,
Circumstances and people took the ultimate decision,
Reality overcame the beautiful illusion.
I often think about the sadness it brought,
But remembering the moments I perish the thought.
For others, it may just be a matter of months,
But whatever happened, in my memories it runs.
Let it be a transgression without repentance,
In a world of only hatred and vengeance,
Since our act went against the system,
From worldly people it got no assistance."
Poem (written by Rawal Afzal) completed at 11: 49 AM CEST (11th April, 2013).
Edit (12th April, 2013) - let me add another post to it:
^ http://www.pakpassion.net/ppforum/showpost.php?p=5718664&postcount=82 ^
Lovely Rawal bhai! My story was in Autumn too.
I guess it's in Autumn when all the cupids come out to play
October 2012 :'(
There was this girl in our school who fell for me (?!) She was in general very ill-behaved and very rich as well. Sent me an email......
"Violets are red, roses are blue,
I love only one, that is you."
She got the first verse wrong: A hint that it wasn't written from the heart. As you all acknowledge, DHONI183 is a kind soul who diplomatically avoids things instead of hurting others. I answered.......
"Your email, I have read,
It has turned me red,
Caught fever, going to bed,
Sleeping early is my rule,
Meet you tomorrow at school."
Next day she made fun of me with her friends. I was angered! It felt as if I was being played with. In the evening she wrote me again, seeking an answer. My answer was......
"I am poor, you are rich,
I am noble, you are a witch,
I discovered in the school,
You were making me a fool!
Not falling for the trap,
I am not any idiotic chap,
Go find another guy,
From my side, goodbye!"
It was a some sort of dilemma for me too, but I solved it myself without seeking anyone's help. My first step towards poetry it was.
PB bhai, I am now badly addicted to your poetry! It is..... amazing!
Likewise!
Glad you like it, hope your being honest
I'm really happy right now, because someones actually appreciating it! :')
lol,there are a lot of devdases in this site.Hope you all are not like this in your real life.
I am being very honest. The difference between me and "Good stuff. Well written" people is that I analyse stuff and offer my own, deep insight which tells that I really engage into it.
Keep sharing I say!
The day I will never forget November the Fifth
You made something come true, that was once a Myth
You showed me, You were the person I was meant to be With
But months later you proved all of it was better off as a Myth
It was Tuesday December Eighteen
We went to the movies to watch on the big Screen
That was fast becoming our daily Routine
But then there was that Climatic Scene
It wasn't in the movie, it was with You and I
This was the starting of our permanent good Bye
You had to ruin it, I still ask Why?
Oh well, I guess this was something you were trying to Imply?
In your iPhone a picture of another Guy
Leaving me and my heart high and Dry
At that moment my hope began to Die
That you weren't my soul mate, that...I still Cry
Sure it was just a picture you all Say
But they do tell a thousand words that you can't Slay
At the moment, me and you started to Stray
Our love just wasn't meant to Stay
A day before your birthday January Thirty-First
Thats when everything was starting to Burst
All the memories were overshadowed since this was the day everything was at its Worst
It's kind of like our love was Cursed
As I write this poem, I'm vulnerable like a baby Fawn
I am so tired so give me a second, let me Yawn
I just looked outside and It's almost Dawn
and I still can't believe our love is Gone.....
Kaayal you! Don´t make fun of us, please. All of us are, but some dare to come out in open
.
Its time to change your avatar bro.... Its supposed to be Devdas and not Mohabbatein![]()
October, November, December, January and then came February......
Is that me from another ID?
"Talent" is the word! Loved every, every bit of it!
I know a poem isn't Much
But I have no other Touch
I know your still really Pissed
And it was something big that I Missed
I know I made a big Mistake
But I didn't want your heart to Break
I know I'm pretty Late
But I thought it be better to Wait
I know you hate me a Lot
But saying everything like this is all I Got
It's been 4 years and I still feel Bad
Every time I think about it I get Sad
My intention isn't what you Believe
All of which I said on Christmas Eve
It was December 24th 2009
When I said stuff that stung your blood Line
I didn't mean any of That
It was just that . . . I was a stupid little Brat
I tried saying sorry a lot
But you made it feel like it was some Plot
I tried in Two thousand Eleven
But you sent my hopes to Heaven
Tried again Last Year
But nothing new which was my Fear
Both times, you wanted me to leave you Alone
But I just wanted something to be Known
I know I was a really bad Guy
And made you hope, that I go to the Sky
I probably made you Cry
That made you hope I die
I know you have a lot of Wrath
But I just want to set straight the Path
I am not doing this for what you Think
I'm just sorry, I left a mark worse than permanent Ink
Every summer, I'll keep Trying
Just to prove, that I am not Lying
This is going to be my third Time
Better off saying everything in a Rhyme
I don't know what else to say
So I'll just stop right away
"Your attempts at termination
and to term my Nation, a Terrorist State
won't deter my nation
because of our determination" - Saqs
You continue to amaze me with your talent! What I love is how you keep rhyming things and keep the flow of the story going! Mind blown! The first two verses say....
"I know a poem isn't Much
But I have no other Touch"
My friend, a poem is everything! You know, it lets us say things that we can´t in simple words.
Thanks bhai, If I had a quarter for everytime you complimented my work, I'd have a lot of quarters
And yeah for me and you a poem means a lot, but to her .....Nope
And here is my latest.
Two nights and Two rhymes
I amaze me sometimes (H)
I don't know what else I have to do
Say you don't hate me, so I can go Wahooo!
For two consecutive night's I've been Ignored!
I need something that can get me Restored
Maybe after reading this rhyme send me a text
so I don't feel so perplexed
Or the good ol' phone call
And settle it once and for all!
Hope it's for the good
I want you to have me understood!
I know you'd love to cuss
But I'm not trying to cause a fuss!
You know you'd love to cuss me off too
But C'mon you've done it twice, be refreshing like Mountain Dew
Last year it was like a Soda Lime
You cussed me off big time!
The year before that was like Sprite
Setting it straight and giving me a Fright
This year are you gona be cold as Ice
And be Concise
Or are you gona be sweet as juice
and finally call it a truce ?![]()
PB your poems are really cute!
Rawal bro, you are pretty good too. You have a nice command over the language. And you're German!![]()
PB your poems are really cute!
Rawal bro, you are pretty good too. You have a nice command over the language.
And you're German!![]()
Good news regarding my last poem is that it´s all well after some 36 hours or so. Very happy!
Thanks. But what do you mean by "You are pretty good too"? I am the original artist who inspired people like Saadibaba to write poetry, and PB to post the stuff here.
Yeah; but I will end up messing things up if I ever on earth attempt poetry in German.
Anyways, stay blessed, my little sister.
Haha sorry :$
Lol why, is rhyming in German really hard? Its a tough language in general I suppose.
Sent from my Nexus S using Tapatalk 4 Beta
My poems were of no use, the @#$%$% didn't even text or anything.
I understand and sympathise with you my friend, but your poetry isn't quite gone to waste as people at least saw talent unearth like yours. They are of value to me at least.
God bless you!
Perhaps the last tournament Ever
Pakistan now will win it Never
India has now won it Twice
Thank God no ones saying for a Price
England once again fell Short
Guess it's just not their Resort
Sri Lanka lost in the Semi's once More
Thats nothing new, so let's just Ignore
Windies got done by Rain
It was like their own Bane
Saffers won against the Rain
But still managed to get on the Plane
Australia once the most dominant Team
All of that now may seem like a Dream
New Zealand needed Australia to Win
But both of them bowed out as a Twin
Short and Sweet
![]()
Here´s my tribute to this....
Eye To Eye
"Eye To Eye"
Someone tell this guy,
Not to sing (again) before I die,
Even then I will cry,
When my soul will plead from above the sky,
I ask Taher Shah, "Why O´ why?"
To your singing, I say "Bye bye!"
"Eye To Eye..... "
Let not the Sun rise today
Lest it brings with itself another day of pain.
Evaporating any bit of hope that seem to remain.
Let not the Sun rise today
Lest it brings with itself a whole nes set of troubles.
And myriad diseases that always seem to be incurable.
Let not the Sun rise today
Lest it allows difficult situations to arise.
Leading men towards more hatred and even more vice.
Let not the Sun rise today
Let this peaceful moment overpower me.
Until a permanent sleep overcomes me.
As soon as I laid my eyes on Her
My Heart and Eyes began to Blur
Seeing someone really Stunning
And who was also very Cunning
She seemed so Complete
Perfect to start a new Fleet
She was wearing a traditional Pakistani Attire
Seeing her in that, made her my only Desire
She was wearing heels yet couldn't match my Height
Everything was perfect but too good to be Right
She seemed pretty Young
But the Situation soon Swung
I couldn't understand this Notion
It gave me an unbelievable Emotion
It felt like my heart was being Seized
But in the end I ended up being Deceived
She was my mom's friends Daughter
Who ended up doing an unintended Slaughter
It was my mom who brought me back to Reality
It caused me so much Brutality
The news had affected me with such a high Magnitude
It struck me down from a really high Altitude
It was so Frustrating
And yet very Aggravating
I had no clue in how I should React
The broken pieces of my Heart were no longer Intact
All my hopes had been Destroyed
I learnt Love is what I should Avoid
It's something that is very Betraying
What you see, is not always what is Portraying
The news that broke my heart into Parts
So small you couldn't even hit them with Darts
It was that the girl was 6 years older
The broken bits of heart began to Smoulder. . . . . . . . .
^^ **sigh**![]()
![]()
I wrote this almost a week ago. I didn´t post it (anywhere) because it was a little too personal. It was exclusively shared with only one person in this world. However, I have come up with an idea of omitting a few verses which were slightly personal.
A kind-hearted little boy
"She didn´t think of the outcome,
Took it all for fun!
Or perhaps she was serious,
But the guy got very curious.
Knew she not he could give her nothing?
Except for maybe one thing,
That being laughter and joy,
A kind-hearted little boy!
His heart became his weakness,
The only uniqueness,
He too fell for her,
Causing him to err,
How childish they were!
From her, this world parted him,
To no end it dis-heartened him!
To avoid any further collision,
He took a harsh decision,
He locked his heart, threw the key away,
His inner being, he had to slay!
His heart, he couldn't resist,
The emotions continued to exist,
He was struck by the charm of someone,
Surprising himself and everyone.
He now lives in a world of his own,
About It, none can complain or moan,
Without her knowledge, he loves her from far,
And accepts things as they are.... "
Poem (written by Rawal Afzal) completed at 19:17 PM CEST, 24th June 2013.
Rawal bhai, any new poems?
I haven't written any since the last one, haven't found a reason yet![]()
^You did a very good job there,Rawal bhai.May Allah shower all the blessings on you for this wonderful work.