Poetry (thread for creative people)

[DHONI183]

This is dedicated to poster UP whose mother passed away recently (http://www.pakpassion.net/ppforum/showthread.php?t=183070).

A punishing day´s arrival!

"A punishing day´s arrival!
Causing an end to her survival,....
His mother left him alone to face the worst,
Leaving him with an everlasting thirst,
Life now seems a little too coerced,
A mother's love,... you always ask for more,
Hugging her now feels like the days of yore.

O` my grief for my beloved friend!
Whose agony has no possible end,
He is now accompanied by loneliness,
His pain is causing me an illness,
These are the eyes that hadn't shed tears,
They still haven't lightened the burden this heart bears,
Even my tears have deserted me,
No worldly luxury has comforted me.

Who will he turn to when in pain?
Who will tell him what to do, from what to refrain?
Such questions,..... forever they remain.... "

Poem (written by Rawal Afzal) completed at 21:15 PM CEST, 1st August 2013.

 

[DHONI183]

This was written on a very special friend´s Birthday a couple of weeks ago. I couldn´t post this back then for some reasons. She loved it! She considered this to be the best present.

One kind-hearted girl thou art

"Today you turn nineteen,
Continue to be the way you have been,
Very different you are, I have seen,
Even if people care not,
About them you worry a lot.

On this auspicious day, let me too play a part,
And write wishes from the bottom of my heart,
For one kind-hearted girl thou art.

Today I wish you all the best,
Forever stay happy and blest!
May no harm ever touch you,
World is full of devils, I tell you,
They don't let anyone stay cheerful,
They stay happy, but leave you tearful......

Even though a lot we have fought 1,
Fighting you is still a scary thought!
Below is a secret I want to share,
Annoying you is fun, I swear,
Because people like you are very rare.

Well from the day it has begun,
You too know it is all for fun.
But rather quite mysteriously,
You take it all very seriously!
O` why this Kolaveri Di? 2
Why don't you let it be?

Enjoy the day, enjoy the gifts,
Forgive people, overcome the rifts!"

Poem (written by Rawal Afzal) completed at 09:20 AM CEST, 29th July 2013.

Footnotes:

1. Apart from many minor fights, we have had about four mega fights, one of which having ended two before her Birthday, lasting for as long as three days.

2. It is a Tamil song meaning "Why This Murderous Rage, Girl?" which became one of the biggest Internet sensations ever and was once amongst the most viewed songs on YouTube.

 

[DHONI183]

Rawal bhai, any new poems?
I haven't written any since the last one, haven't found a reason yet

Found a reason or not yet?

 

[HamzaSaeen]

There is a poem which got me into a book published worldwide
Will post it soon when I find it.

 

[DHONI183]

There is a poem which got me into a book published worldwide
Will post it soon when I find it.

Please do. Waiting.....

 

[HamzaSaeen]

Please do. Waiting.....

Aapka Intezar Itkhtitam ko pohnchta hai
Bear in mind this is a poem written 2 years ago so English etc might not be great.

Parents

Parents are most worthy of respect
But most grown 'children' leave them wrecked
Fathers work, Mothers care
But their children are unaware

They love us the most
But we treat them as ghosts
What wrong have they done?
Their only mistake is making your life fun?

Open your eyes, its never too late
Just get this fact straight
They are the ones who raised us up
When they need you, don't give up

When they are old, try your best
Don't put them into an ultimate test
Help them just as they helped you
Life gives a single chance, doesn't renew

If, for some reason, you may separate
Stay in contact, don't isolate
Let your parents know you love them
Don't lose them, they are precious gems.

THE END.

I hope you guys liked it. Looking to write more poems because I'm good at it.

 

[DHONI183]

Aapka Intezar Itkhtitam ko pohnchta hai
Bear in mind this is a poem written 2 years ago so English etc might not be great.

Parents

Parents are most worthy of respect
But most grown 'children' leave them wrecked
Fathers work, Mothers care
But their children are unaware

They love us the most
But we treat them as ghosts
What wrong have they done?
Their only mistake is making your life fun?

Open your eyes, its never too late
Just get this fact straight
They are the ones who raised us up
When they need you, don't give up

When they are old, try your best
Don't put them into an ultimate test
Help them just as they helped you
Life gives a single chance, doesn't renew

If, for some reason, you may separate
Stay in contact, don't isolate
Let your parents know you love them
Don't lose them, they are precious gems.

THE END.

I hope you guys liked it. Looking to write more poems because I'm good at it.

Beautiful poem man! Touched! Really,..... impressed! Please continue to write poems given that you are talented enough for this.

 

[HamzaSaeen]

Beautiful poem man! Touched! Really,..... impressed! Please continue to write poems given that you are talented enough for this.

Thanks.
Yes I've been told by my mates that a few times
Writing poems is a kind of a hobby, so will post as soon as I write a new one.

 

[DHONI183]

Thanks.
Yes I've been told by my mates that a few times
Writing poems is a kind of a hobby, so will post as soon as I write a new one.

You will really get into it once you fall in love. Only then you will realise how it supports you in loneliness.

 

[HamzaSaeen]

You will really get into it once you fall in love. Only then you will realise how it supports you in loneliness.

well, that's not much far away seeing that the school year is due to start within a week odd
hoping for someone good to come along

 

[Compass]

trying my hand at poetry.

Expecting care from you, I rather not
For you're the one who's got me this turmoil

My hearts on fire, my soul is burning
Like stones on me, people are hurling

Why is it that you pretend you've realised
Or that my heart just wishes to be taken for a ride

Cannot believe how naive am I
i wanna be the one with this right to cry

remember when I said you're my reason to exist
didn't just say it for you to hold my wrist

i can deny, tell myself that I never loved you
masochist was I that's how I chose you

wish I could somehow make you realise
that there's only one way for Sun to rise

maybe cause I was good for your your ego, show off to your friends

get you out of your miserable life or make you feel better

cause you don't destroy the one you love

you don't damage them,

you don't betray them

and still act like everything's fine

"Baby you're like my sweet wine,
I love you and you make my life shine"

still she got those guts to say
now as they let my body to lay

I whisper,

my life was going nowhere
maybe there's a place for me up there somewhere

 

[DHONI183]

well, that's not much far away seeing that the school year is due to start within a week odd
hoping for someone good to come along

Jo jaan booj ke kartey hai´n, ussey pyar nahi kehti, bhai mere.

trying my hand at poetry.

Expecting care from you, I rather not
For you're the one who's got me this turmoil

My hearts on fire, my soul is burning
Like stones on me, people are hurling

Why is it that you pretend you've realised
Or that my heart just wishes to be taken for a ride

Cannot believe how naive am I
i wanna be the one with this right to cry

remember when I said you're my reason to exist
didn't just say it for you to hold my wrist

i can deny, tell myself that I never loved you
masochist was I that's how I chose you

wish I could somehow make you realise
that there's only one way for Sun to rise

maybe cause I was good for your your ego, show off to your friends

get you out of your miserable life or make you feel better

cause you don't destroy the one you love

you don't damage them,

you don't betray them

and still act like everything's fine

"Baby you're like my sweet wine,
I love you and you make my life shine"

still she got those guts to say
now as they let my body to lay

I whisper,

my life was going nowhere
maybe there's a place for me up there somewhere

Nice! Good addition to the thread.

 

[HamzaSaeen]

Jo jaan booj ke kartey hai´n, ussey pyar nahi kehti, bhai mere.
.

Jaan booj k nahi karna bhai, I'm already in love thats why I'm waiting for school

 

[DHONI183]

Jaan booj k nahi karna bhai, I'm already in love thats why I'm waiting for school

Wah! Dil khush kardiya bhai! Welcome to the club!

 

[HamzaSaeen]

Wah! Dil khush kardiya bhai! Welcome to the club!

Thanks! Tell me what to do, Ya love guru

 

[DHONI183]

trying my hand at poetry.

Expecting care from you, I rather not
For you're the one who's got me this turmoil

My hearts on fire, my soul is burning
Like stones on me, people are hurling

Why is it that you pretend you've realised
Or that my heart just wishes to be taken for a ride

Cannot believe how naive am I
i wanna be the one with this right to cry

remember when I said you're my reason to exist
didn't just say it for you to hold my wrist

i can deny, tell myself that I never loved you
masochist was I that's how I chose you

wish I could somehow make you realise
that there's only one way for Sun to rise

maybe cause I was good for your your ego, show off to your friends

get you out of your miserable life or make you feel better

cause you don't destroy the one you love

you don't damage them,

you don't betray them

and still act like everything's fine

"Baby you're like my sweet wine,
I love you and you make my life shine"

still she got those guts to say
now as they let my body to lay

I whisper,

my life was going nowhere
maybe there's a place for me up there somewhere

By the way, just to let you know, I learned a new word through this: "Masochist".

Thanks! Tell me what to do, Ya love guru

For now, simply keep falling further.

 

[Compass]

Jo jaan booj ke kartey hai´n, ussey pyar nahi kehti, bhai mere.



Nice! Good addition to the thread.

thanks

 

[Compass]

Saw the word blest first time ever in your poem. Surprised that I hadn't heard about it before. Your poems are incredible.

 

[Saurav]

Aapka Intezar Itkhtitam ko pohnchta hai
Bear in mind this is a poem written 2 years ago so English etc might not be great.

Parents

Parents are most worthy of respect
But most grown 'children' leave them wrecked
Fathers work, Mothers care
But their children are unaware

They love us the most
But we treat them as ghosts
What wrong have they done?
Their only mistake is making your life fun?

Open your eyes, its never too late
Just get this fact straight
They are the ones who raised us up
When they need you, don't give up

When they are old, try your best
Don't put them into an ultimate test
Help them just as they helped you
Life gives a single chance, doesn't renew

If, for some reason, you may separate
Stay in contact, don't isolate
Let your parents know you love them
Don't lose them, they are precious gems.

THE END.

I hope you guys liked it. Looking to write more poems because I'm good at it.

awesome

 

[DHONI183]

thanks

Saw the word blest first time ever in your poem. Surprised that I hadn't heard about it before. Your poems are incredible.

I hold some valuable knowledge of the 'old English' because of being a passionate student of the religious scriptures such as the Qur`an, the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita etc.

 

[Saurav]

I hold some valuable knowledge of the 'old English' because of being a passionate student of the religious scriptures such as the Qur`an, the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita etc.

you've read Bhagvad Gita?wow

you are like Paresh Rawal in 'Oh My God' who read all religious books

 

[HamzaSaeen]

awesome

Shukria brother.

 

[Compass]

I hold some valuable knowledge of the 'old English' because of being a passionate student of the religious scriptures such as the Qur`an, the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita etc.

Yes I noticed that too. I don't think I've ever fully understood the difference between thou and you.

 

[HamzaSaeen]

Here is another one of my masterpiece... Untitled

She was there sitting under a tree
I felt like a bird set free
It was the first time I'd seen her
I wanted to go closer, not further

She was unhappy, head bowed down
I wanted to set on her head, a crown
I couldn't do anything but stare
There was no one but us two, no one anywhere

I finally found confidence and stood up
Towards her, like a horse, I galloped
I held her hand and asked whats wrong
She told me 'I haven't seen you since long'

Now I realized that the feeling was mutual
To each other we both were affectional.

End.

P.S. DHONI183 I know my poetry can't hold a candle to yours

 

[DHONI183]

Here is another one of my masterpiece... Untitled

She was there sitting under a tree
I felt like a bird set free
It was the first time I'd seen her
I wanted to go closer, not further

She was unhappy, head bowed down
I wanted to set on her head, a crown
I couldn't do anything but stare
There was no one but us two, no one anywhere

I finally found confidence and stood up
Towards her, like a horse, I galloped
I held her hand and asked whats wrong
She told me 'I haven't seen you since long'

Now I realized that the feeling was mutual
To each other we both were affectional.

End.

Very touching work! Made me imagine the whole scene in my mind. I have above highlighted my most favourite part.

However, one question: How was it the first time that you saw her, given that the feelings were already existent?

As for the title, name it:

"The first time I saw her"

P.S. DHONI183 I know my poetry can't hold a candle to yours

My friend, we are all different and special in our own ways. We are beyond comparisons. However, I can see the humble attitude in a future artist.

 

[Saqs]

I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything but some of these poems aren't really poems. Not much prose or depth.

Just being constructively critical. Not making fun.

 

[DHONI183]

I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything but some of these poems aren't really poems. Not much prose or depth.

Just being constructively critical. Not making fun.

Comment accepted and not disagreed with (regarding my work it is) .

 

[DHONI183]

Actually, given that I can´t be the one to decide whether they are poems or not, I will now try my level best to just call them "Random thoughts". However, since they rhyme at least one percent (and I know well that poetry is not at all about rhyming), I thought this would be the most relevant thread to post.

Anyways, back to it, I wrote these random thoughts before the Women´s Ashes series 2013 started. I am posting it today here first because today is the first ever defeat at the international level for Ellyse Perry ever since I have become her fan (http://www.pakpassion.net/ppforum/showpost.php?p=6040536&postcount=150
).

A modest wish

"O` you who has reached my neighbouring country!
Still far away I am, I agree,
You know well I can't reach thee,
A dream never meant to be,
Without a boat I am, in front of me is a sea,
An everlasting plea!
She will listen I believe, won't she?

Hoping that you will comply,
I close my eyes, look towards the sky,
I pray with both my hands,
Visit mine too, for you visit so many lands.

Oh` why were these feelings so unplanned?!
They didn't exist when you visited my land,
2011 it was; two years ago, 1
About you, I did not even know.

In England you are to play cricket,
May you make runs and take every wicket,
I fear the injuries..... What if you don't play? 2
I perish the thought, begin to pray,
Mine is a wish too modest,
In this month of August, 3
May the team win and you contribute,
Hard work is indeed your greatest attribute,
You will overcome all that prevents you,
Your determination it is that represents you."

Poem (written by Rawal Afzal) completed at 10:12 AM CEST, 9th August 2013.

Footnotes:

1. She was in Germany in 2011 to play the FIFA Women´s World Cup.
2. Ellyse getting fit for this series was bit of a race against time. She had an ankle unjury due to which she underwent a surgery as well.
3. All the matches of the series will be held in this month itself.

 

[DHONI183]

Oh´! Whilst posting it, I made some moderation-related mistake in this thread!

 

[HamzaSaeen]

Very touching work! Made me imagine the whole scene in my mind. I have above highlighted my most favourite part.

However, one question: How was it the first time that you saw her, given that the feelings were already existent?

The first time was just an amazing moment. Unexplainable really.

My new amateur poem- My country

My country is in a total mess
It is crying, may god bless
Problems are on a high rise
There is a need for men that are wise

Motherland has been destroyed
This is the result of a great ploy
People dying, people weeping
Enough of Suicide bombings!

It seems as if society turned animal
No Government, no law anywhere
Politicians are all talk no substance
Nobody can solve these problems in an instance

The country needs a change of systems
Get rid of the corrupt politicians
It will once again turn into heaven
A place where we all can enjoy and have fun.

END.

 

[DHONI183]

My new amateur poem- My country

My country is in a total mess
It is crying, may god bless
Problems are on a high rise
There is a need for men that are wise

Motherland has been destroyed
This is the result of a great ploy
People dying, people weeping
Enough of Suicide bombings!

It seems as if society turned animal
No Government, no law anywhere
Politicians are all talk no substance
Nobody can solve these problems in an instance

The country needs a change of systems
Get rid of the corrupt politicians
It will once again turn into heaven
A place where we all can enjoy and have fun.

Wonderful stuff brother! Quite accurate, isn't it, sadly? I have above highlighted my favourite bit. In a total mess indeed my friend!

 

[HamzaSaeen]

Wonderful stuff brother! Quite accurate, isn't it, sadly? I have above highlighted my favourite bit. In a total mess indeed my friend!

Yeah its really accurate, sadly enough.

 

[Saurav]

Wonderful stuff brother! Quite accurate, isn't it, sadly? I have above highlighted my favourite bit. In a total mess indeed my friend!

no you haven't

 

[DHONI183]

Yeah its really accurate, sadly enough.

Well, we can only hope and pray that it improves.

no you haven't

Check again. I did, but just a minute before your post, which means you probably missed it.

 

[Pakz]

I thought I might give it a go and see how it goes... Didn't take long, however I forget the rules in poetry so just dashed out a few rhymes and wanted some feedback.

It reflects the the self and you if want you can criticise. Anyways it's called it:

Life: The game?

Life is a game. Is it there to play?
Each challenge brings pain and understandable stain.

Joy of success and the misery of defeat, striking above a mystic feat
I think and reflect, for moments I may deflect.

Never lose hope within, even if the outer feels suffering is ready to begin.
The moments to live and prosper begin when the answer to the ultimate question truly fade’s in.

It leaves you hanging to a rope of hope at once, how you react may lead you to discuss.
Finally I leave and say to you, if this has helped then get ready to queue.

PS: I forgot how you lay it out and the rules. If you don't understand it, then...

 

[Indiafan]

A bit cynical poem I wrote in the last 10 minutes

Changing the world

When I was young, I wanted to change the world
Make an end to all the poverty and shame
There would be no war, no lack of worth,
There would be no one to blame

I thought it was in my hands
to banish crime, to get women respect
that they demand of every man's
Causing them to introspect

Poverty would be gone once I grow up
people would see the evil of their ways
Nations at war would just show up
to apologies and live their days

In peace and harmony for ever and ever
people will renounce crime and mend criminals
Happiness would just last forever
in large groups and with individuals

Surely all the worlds troubles
would depart once I came
or if not then, the struggles
I would personally tame

But now i am all grown up
and am an adult in every way
But I find that its all more blown up
and every evil holds its sway

We have more of wars and crime
Poverty is still the poor man's bane
With the ever marching of time
I have been driven insane

It's after money I run
To all the evils I am blind
Trying to eke a living and have my fun
All my ideals left behind


The world I could not change
No matter how much it deranged me
instead of me changing the world
It's the world which changed me

 

[Saurav]

^ Wonderful

 

[Indiafan]

Thanks!

 

[Ims1]

Thanks!

nice Ifan ...


Tum apna aakhri khat aur har tasveer bhi le jao ....
Mei DIL todney walon ki koi nishani nahin rakhta

 

[DHONI183]

I thought I might give it a go and see how it goes... Didn't take long, however I forget the rules in poetry so just dashed out a few rhymes and wanted some feedback.

It reflects the the self and you if want you can criticise. Anyways it's called it:

Life: The game?

Life is a game. Is it there to play?
Each challenge brings pain and understandable stain.

Joy of success and the misery of defeat, striking above a mystic feat
I think and reflect, for moments I may deflect.

Never lose hope within, even if the outer feels suffering is ready to begin.
The moments to live and prosper begin when the answer to the ultimate question truly fade’s in.

It leaves you hanging to a rope of hope at once, how you react may lead you to discuss.
Finally I leave and say to you, if this has helped then get ready to queue.

PS: I forgot how you lay it out and the rules. If you don't understand it, then...

Neither am I any aware of the rules etc., but all I can say is that I liked it!

A bit cynical poem I wrote in the last 10 minutes

Changing the world

When I was young, I wanted to change the world
Make an end to all the poverty and shame
There would be no war, no lack of worth,
There would be no one to blame

I thought it was in my hands
to banish crime, to get women respect
that they demand of every man's
Causing them to introspect

Poverty would be gone once I grow up
people would see the evil of their ways
Nations at war would just show up
to apologies and live their days

In peace and harmony for ever and ever
people will renounce crime and mend criminals
Happiness would just last forever
in large groups and with individuals

Surely all the worlds troubles
would depart once I came
or if not then, the struggles
I would personally tame

But now i am all grown up
and am an adult in every way
But I find that its all more blown up
and every evil holds its sway

We have more of wars and crime
Poverty is still the poor man's bane
With the ever marching of time
I have been driven insane

It's after money I run
To all the evils I am blind
Trying to eke a living and have my fun
All my ideals left behind


The world I could not change
No matter how much it deranged me
instead of me changing the world
It's the world which changed me

It is................... mind blowing! I love it so much that I went through it thrice (and I am likely to read again and again)!

I notice a pattern in your posts and the two poems that you have posted here. You are a world-ist, if you understand what I mean. I like such people.

Tum apna aakhri khat aur har tasveer bhi le jao ....
Mei DIL todney walon ki koi nishani nahin rakhta

Made me smile!

 

[Pakz]

Neither am I any aware of the rules etc., but all I can say is that I liked it!

Thanks. I was aware of the rules, but then forgot over time. Some good poems in this thread. This took me about 9-10 mins, Although as I'm not that an expert or skilled it was just a few rhymes about life. I might try some later on these sorts of topics, So lets see how it goes.

When's your next poem released?

 

[DHONI183]

Thanks. I was aware of the rules, but then forgot over time. Some good poems in this thread. This took me about 9-10 mins, Although as I'm not that an expert or skilled it was just a few rhymes about life. I might try some later on these sorts of topics, So lets see how it goes.

I haven´t studied "Poemology" at all. Never.

When's your next poem released?

Apart from the one written on a friend´s birthday, they are hardly ever planned. So can´t say anything. Usually depends how bored I am on a given day and how much time I have to first come up with an idea and then to put it all together.

 

[hayat]

I am a bird, hear me fly-
High above you, up in the sky.
Look at not my wings but my speed-
Embodying courage, I am free indeed!

-hayat-

 

[DHONI183]

I am a bird, hear me fly-
High above you, up in the sky.
Look at not my wings but my speed-
Embodying courage, I am free indeed!

-hayat-

Nice one, Hayat bhai.

 

[DHONI183]

Maybe not the most relevant thread, but this is one wonderfully brilliant poem in Punjabi by Waaris Shah:

Take a bow! He was one amazingly capable writer who also wrote 'Heer-Ranjha'......

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heer_Ranjha

 

[Runner Up]

Man: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Man: Promise You won’t get mad
God: I promise
Man: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Man: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Man: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Man: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Man: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Man: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn’t work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Man (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Man: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn’t want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work.
Man (embarrassed): Okay
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Man (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn’t think you wanted to be in the dark.
Man: I’m Sorry God
God: Don’t be sorry, just learn to Trust Me…. in All things , the Good & the bad.
Man: I will trust You.
God: And don’t doubt that. My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Man: I won’t God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You’re welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children…
REPOST if you believe in GOD.
Why Do we feel sleepy in Prayer,
But stay awake through a 3 hour movie?
Why are we so bored when we look at a HOLY BOOK,
But find it easy to read other books?
Why is it so easy to ignore a msg about God,
Yet we forward the nasty ones?
Why are Prayers getting smaller,
But bars and clubs are expanding?
Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity,
But very difficult to engage with God?
When one door closes , God opens two.
God has no BLACKBERRY but he's my favorite contact ... !!
He is not on FACEBOOK but he is my best friend .... !!
He is not on TWITTER but I still follow him .... !!

 

[Indiafan]

^^^ if that was true no innocent victim would die in drunk driving ever.

 

[saadibaba]

Another feeble amateurish attempt at writing poetry.

Into the void
Nothingness is a luxury
Weighed down by our plights
We live in a world of misery


Deeds of a careless mind
Can stoke fires for a century
While a thousand million trillion good endeavors
Often end up in the dust of history


The wreckage of our souls
Broken, mangled, charred and left to rot
We all die a little everyday
No changing the master plot


Numb, blind, deaf and dumb
Oblivious to our own concerns
Caught in the middle of a cyclone
Watching TV while our house burns


Shackled by gravity
Trapped in perpetual fear
No use in mourning what's gone
Our end is near


The elusive search for truth
Will be the last of our existence
Cause once we find what made us be
There will be no sense in persistence


Hope is not the answer
Truth should not be our goal
It's all about survival
Before we get buried in a hole

 

[DHONI183]

Another feeble amateurish attempt at writing poetry.

Into the void
Nothingness is a luxury
Weighed down by our plights
We live in a world of misery


Deeds of a careless mind
Can stoke fires for a century
While a thousand million trillion good endeavors
Often end up in the dust of history


The wreckage of our souls
Broken, mangled, charred and left to rot
We all die a little everyday
No changing the master plot


Numb, blind, deaf and dumb
Oblivious to our own concerns
Caught in the middle of a cyclone
Watching TV while our house burns


Shackled by gravity
Trapped in perpetual fear
No use in mourning what's gone
Our end is near


The elusive search for truth
Will be the last of our existence
Cause once we find what made us be
There will be no sense in persistence


Hope is not the answer
Truth should not be our goal
It's all about survival
Before we get buried in a hole

Saadibaba, this in my opinion is...... your best work! So hard to understand! It took me about 10 minutes to understand it all and really, I loved it! I have above highlighted my most favourite parts.

It is great to have you back on PP after a long, long time. The only disadvantage is that it is me who is now less addicted to PP. My last work found in this thread is from August, but I wrote quite a lot after it as well. However, now that you have bumped this thread, I will post one of my rhyme floods in the next post. Stay tuned.....

 

[DHONI183]

A considerate guy

"A guy quite considerate, blessed with intelligence,
Faced in life with many challenges,
Challenges,.... maybe beyond your guess,
An inspirational character, people confess!

Making others laugh, a passion, maybe an obsession?
He couldn't see others in depression,
For he knew how it feels to be sad,
Possessor of knowledge, a decent lad,
Portayed himself as a guy who is a little bad,
As a fool, and as bit of a nerd,
Many readily took his word,
Being creative, many stories he wrought,
They took it to be true without a thought.

Overlooking the purpose, Some judged him,
A few even begrudged him,
They also offered him advice,
He ignored it all, being quite nice.

Between humour and discrimination, 1
He finds no relation,
A source of great aggravation,
His open declaration!
He is far from perfect,
But a man deserving of respect."

Poem (composed by Rawal Afzal) completed at 12:22 PM CEST, 14th September 2013.

Footnote:
1. "Discrimination" in this case means making fun of religions, skin colours, people´s disabilities (such as like stammering sometimes) etc. Disapproval of it may just be a point which partly reflects the decency, maturity etc. on his part.

 

[Batman]

Very nice Rawal

This one for you:

"Don't mix bad words with
your bad mood.

You'll have many opportunities
to change your mood,

but you'll never get
the opportunity to replace

the words you spoke..."

 

[saadibaba]

Saadibaba, this in my opinion is...... your best work! So hard to understand! It took me about 10 minutes to understand it all and really, I loved it! I have above highlighted my most favourite parts.

It is great to have you back on PP after a long, long time. The only disadvantage is that it is me who is now less addicted to PP. My last work found in this thread is from August, but I wrote quite a lot after it as well. However, now that you have bumped this thread, I will post one of my rhyme floods in the next post. Stay tuned.....

Thanks so much! that means a lot. As you know, its your encouragement and kind words that allow me to overcome my fear of posting something I feel may be considered ordinary on this forum.

 

[saadibaba]

A considerate guy

"A guy quite considerate, blessed with intelligence,
Faced in life with many challenges,
Challenges,.... maybe beyond your guess,
An inspirational character, people confess!

Making others laugh, a passion, maybe an obsession?
He couldn't see others in depression,
For he knew how it feels to be sad,
Possessor of knowledge, a decent lad,
Portayed himself as a guy who is a little bad,
As a fool, and as bit of a nerd,
Many readily took his word,
Being creative, many stories he wrought,
They took it to be true without a thought.

Overlooking the purpose, Some judged him,
A few even begrudged him,
They also offered him advice,
He ignored it all, being quite nice.

Between humour and discrimination, 1
He finds no relation,
A source of great aggravation,
His open declaration!
He is far from perfect,
But a man deserving of respect."

Poem (composed by Rawal Afzal) completed at 12:22 PM CEST, 14th September 2013.

Footnote:
1. "Discrimination" in this case means making fun of religions, skin colours, people´s disabilities (such as like stammering sometimes) etc. Disapproval of it may just be a point which partly reflects the decency, maturity etc. on his part.

A very nice self relection piece. Last para can be good rap verse, Eminem style!

 

[Desi_Joker]

Here's one.

Main nikla, o gaddi le kar,
o raste pe, o saddak par,
Ek morr aya,
Main uthe dil chorr aya.

 

[DHONI183]

Very nice Rawal

This one for you:

"Don't mix bad words with
your bad mood.

You'll have many opportunities
to change your mood,

but you'll never get
the opportunity to replace

the words you spoke..."

Beautiful! Also liking the Urdu poetry that you have been posting in the Urdu thread in another section of the forum.

Thanks so much! that means a lot. As you know, its your encouragement and kind words that allow me to overcome my fear of posting something I feel may be considered ordinary on this forum.

You deserve it! I really loved all your poems. The nervous feeling that you are talking about, I can relate to that myself, somewhat.

A very nice self relection piece. Last para can be good rap verse, Eminem style!

Here's one.

Main nikla, o gaddi le kar,
o raste pe, o saddak par,
Ek morr aya,
Main uthe dil chorr aya.

Best! Could easily be included in some Bollywood song I feel.

Anyways, I am posting a screenshot of one of my recent works. I feel it just looks better with that poster.

Good night guys!

 

[Saurav]

saadibaba and Rawal

 

[saadibaba]

Another blabbering attempt at writing poetry.

We stand like ants
Holding on to the folds
We watch the rise of vast planes
Sparkling in the light of our flares
Their majestic interpretation
Their softness, infallible perfection
The content of this architecture is fluid
Like the trembling of a single string
In the symphonic orchestra of giants
This creative frenzy of production
The gods keeping themselves entertained
To the delight of the artist
To the despair of the scientist
Who tries in vain to comprehend
The beauty that attains fulfillment
Beyond the boundaries of sight
Past the limits of perception
As we stand in silence
Incoherent and disconnected
To the magnificence at work
Oblivious to its purpose
Plagued by our utter deadness
Unconscious of our insignificance
To the multiplicity of processes
Beating to the rhythm of a gravitational heart

 

[DHONI183]

saadibaba and Rawal

Another blabbering attempt at writing poetry.

We stand like ants
Holding on to the folds
We watch the rise of vast planes
Sparkling in the light of our flares
Their majestic interpretation
Their softness, infallible perfection
The content of this architecture is fluid
Like the trembling of a single string
In the symphonic orchestra of giants
This creative frenzy of production
The gods keeping themselves entertained
To the delight of the artist
To the despair of the scientist
Who tries in vain to comprehend
The beauty that attains fulfillment
Beyond the boundaries of sight
Past the limits of perception
As we stand in silence
Incoherent and disconnected
To the magnificence at work
Oblivious to its purpose
Plagued by our utter deadness
Unconscious of our insignificance
To the multiplicity of processes
Beating to the rhythm of a gravitational heart

You keep on improving! Mind you, it´s not easy to understand either. I always learn some new words from your poems. Keep going sir! The highlighted part in bold is so artistic!

 

[saadibaba]

Thanks Dhoni. Here is another one for you...

The tangled labyrinth of thoughts
Feverish, illogical, distraught
Embraced without being touched
Shrinking inside pretty much
The reddish hue in the sky
Bitter memories I can't deny

Like a migraine throbbing painfully
Past regrets flowing out so gently
Suffocating my resistance
Gnawing at my existence

Turmoil encompassing me in its grip
Like a sadist with a whip
Deep resentment growing
Tears drops are flowing

The guilt of letting go
Have got me in death throes
Screaming, howling, shouting for help
I'm scared of my own self
Lies I have lived, tears I have cried
Wore my wounds with pride
Blamed the devil for my doings
I let the hate brewing

 

[Saqs]

What do these actually mean?

 

[DHONI183]

Thanks Dhoni. Here is another one for you...

The tangled labyrinth of thoughts
Feverish, illogical, distraught
Embraced without being touched
Shrinking inside pretty much
The reddish hue in the sky
Bitter memories I can't deny

Like a migraine throbbing painfully
Past regrets flowing out so gently
Suffocating my resistance
Gnawing at my existence

Turmoil encompassing me in its grip
Like a sadist with a whip
Deep resentment growing
Tears drops are flowing

The guilt of letting go
Have got me in death throes
Screaming, howling, shouting for help
I'm scared of my own self
Lies I have lived, tears I have cried
Wore my wounds with pride
Blamed the devil for my doings
I let the hate brewing

Amazing work once again sir! Loved the highlighted parts! I think I really understood the "Here is (another) one for you" part *Sssshhhh!*.

What do these actually mean?

Haha! His works of late haven´t been easy to understand. I go through some of these for minutes and yet don´t quite completely get to the depths of the philosophies, but the very act of engaging in reading them, or trying to understand all these words fascinates me! I love the flow that his works have. But still not that difficult to understand them overall on the whole I reckon.

 

[saadibaba]

A broken God
With a broken heart
In a broken world
With his broken creations

A crippled God
A useless God
Whose suffering wasn't redemption
Whose purpose didn't serve
Who couldn't save
Who just was

A defective God
Defective like his creation
Not knowing what
He has sat in motion
Horrified beyond belief
At the course of action

Who has built clocks
That don't measure time
Who has built systems
That have outgrown their prime
Who created infinity
To be our savior
But it ended up being
His boundless failure

A despairing God
A needy God
Wanting more & more
Till he lost control
An evolving God
Like his creation
An impotent God
In need for salvation

 

[DHONI183]

Dedicated to Imam Hussain (may God be pleased with him) in the month of Muharram.

Hussain, a man so just

"Against a tyrant he stood,
Fought with all that he could,
Such was Hussain, a man so just,
Who broke not the trust, 1
And made no compromise,
Instead offered a grand sacrifice.

O´ Karbala,.... and the battlefield!
Blood of innocents did it yield,
Mournful stories it has revealed.

Perished be the hands that slew!
Accursed they are, if only they knew!
The ones who plotted to slay,
Die a death every day, 2
And the one they had slain,
His sacrifice didn't go in vain,
An eternal peace he has gained, 3
And an everlasting life he has attained." 4

Poem (composed by Rawal Afzal) completed at 09:29 AM CET, 14th November 2013.

Footnotes:
1. An allegorical way to express the fact how each and every human is given the responsibility to side justice, hence it is a trust given, even more so to someone from a prophet´s family.
2. Meaning, that they are not remembered in good words.
3. Refers to paradise.
4. To date we remember his sacrifice and is likely to be remembered forever.

 

[DHONI183]

Saadibaba, do you save your work, or is that you just post on PP and that´s it?

 

[saadibaba]

Wonderful poem on Karbala Dhoni. Beautifully rhymed and phrased. Great job!

If I write them on iPad, they stay automatically saved on the iPad notes section. Some I write on Word on my laptop and they stay saved there. I guess, this thread is likely to have all of them in one place.

 

[DHONI183]

Please read the post above to understand its background and meaning.

Naïve Bird

"This disobedient heart of mine,
Is like a bird which has become thine,
Wherever you go, it follows you,
Prays for success, whatever you do.

Badly hurt, bruised and battered,
I still admire it for the courage it gathered,
Ignoring the hunters, it chases its dreams,
Flying above the sea and the streams.

O` Naïve being, come you back,
World asks for everything that you lack,
O` Bird, tempt you not fate,
For the outcome won´t be any great.

Fly not too high, requests you Rawal,
For this downfall won't have a revival,
Ultimately, it only has pain and grief,
The joy is shortlived and very brief.

Blameless is the one it flies after, though,
Fault is all mine, the one who let it go,
O` friends, if you find it, clip its wings,
Before further curiosity and wait it brings."

Poem (written by Rawal Afzal) completed at 21:10 PM CEST (1st April, 2013).

Hmmm.... The first one of my poems. Nice work, wasn´t it? I love it now even more given that it has been read by Ellyse Perry(!!!). Yes folks, I have done it!

^ http://www.pakpassion.net/ppforum/showthread.php?p=6247542#post6247542 ^

 

[DHONI183]

Wonderful poem on Karbala Dhoni. Beautifully rhymed and phrased. Great job!

If I write them on iPad, they stay automatically saved on the iPad notes section. Some I write on Word on my laptop and they stay saved there. I guess, this thread is likely to have all of them in one place.

Thanks sir!

Data loss can occur on PP, or any forum for that matter, hence I asked this. They are all precious and deserve to be documented properly in some folder on your PC etc.

 

[PakGirl!]

Hmmm.... The first one of my poems. Nice work, wasn´t it? I love it now even more given that it has been read by Ellyse Perry(!!!). Yes folks, I have done it!

^ http://www.pakpassion.net/ppforum/showthread.php?p=6247542#post6247542 ^

Wow,your poetry skills are commendable

 

[Madplayer]

Wanna read some insane work? This is what i wrote sometime back :


I keep thinking about it my mind is outta control,
i see people around with a seemingly common goal.
eyeballs rolling on me they strike me like thunder and lightening,
they make a face when they see me, Should i go into hiding?

Push me back Pull me down laugh at me like Im a clown, i look towards them with a frown,
i see through their skin coloured brown.

They think theyr perfect n they call me names like loafer,
then comes the high point with people calling me a joker,
i tell them WHY SO SERIOUS? when you're good at taunting me,
if you're good at doin' something never do it for FREE.
You see, you've done a good job,
i'll pay you for your service,a bullet between the eyes,
God do i love this.
But then the psycho in me wakes up again tonight,
i cut myself and bleed the pain out tonight
i wish it rains down tonight and put out the fire in me,
or i'll burn down the world there aint no liar in me.

 

[PakGirl!]

^^^Oh Lord, your username suits you

U must have been quite angry or something

 

[Madplayer]

^^^Oh Lord, your username suits you

U must have been quite angry or something

Thats my secret. I'm always angry

 

[Ims1]

A friend posted on his timeline : Ajeeb kaskmakash hei ke zindagi kis ko doon .... Maut bhi aa baithi aur Woh bhi

 

[DHONI183]

Dedicated to a woman whom I love as much as the women in my family. My guru, my teacher, is like my elder sister.

An educational journey

"They judge her on her intelligence,
Are unaware of the challenges,
Challenges, that make her so inspirational,
Her journey, so educational.

From her I draw inspiration,
A woman who engages in celebration, 1
Irrespective of situations and conditions,
An aspiring person with several ambitions,
Her words of wisdom are poetic compositions, 2
Full of immense love and compassion, 3
A dedicated soul; helping others a passion. 4

A capable girl, very athletic, 5
In every way so energetic,
Till there came a tragic day,
A mournful accident in every way, 6
Why did such a day arrive?
Now on a wheelchair she has to survive,....
A tragic story, it cannot be denied,
My grief so obvious, I cannot hide.... "

Poem (composed by Rawal Afzal) completed at 16:26 PM CET, 5th December 2013.

Footnes:

1. Meaning, that she celebrates every little happiness that comes her way and is always grateful to God.

2. An example being: "You are never alone or helpless. The Force that guides the stars guides you too."

3. She places great emphasis on how love is the cure and solution to everything. She says, "Love others not because they deserve your love, but because you deserve to have love in your heart."

4. She has started a charitable organisation to provide hope and help for the severely disabled people.

5. She was an accomplished swimmer and alongside it, was the captain of her state`s Under-19 cricket team in India and led them to a title victory in 1997.

6. The accident took place at a beach on 7th July 1998 where the waves led to her downfall. She suffered from a spinal cord injury.....

 

[DHONI183]

Regarding my work above, she was so touched by it. She loved it and shared it with all her friends, one of which requested her to forward his heart touching message to me.

 

[DHONI183]

Punjabi! First such attempt!

Har khushi mitti vich rul gayi vey

"Tera ghamm maar mukaveyga,
Har pal meinu rulaaveyga,
Jaddo´n vi yaad aaveingi,
Jeendey nu maar jaaveingi,
Jes din tenu rulaya si,
Apna aap maar mukaya si,
Kismat ney zulm karwaya si....

Raat nu neend nayi aandi vey,
Teri yaad saath nibhaandi vey,
Aeys dunya nu pul gya vaa`n,
Tere ghamm vich rul gya vaa`n,
Dunya meinu pul gayi vey,
Har khushi mitti vich rul gayi vey,
Bus ghamm hee saath nibhaandey ney,
Tere atthru tere val bulaandey ney.... "

completed by Rawal Afzal at 09:58 AM CET, 9th December 2013.

 

[saadibaba]

^^^

Great first attempt. This could become a song.

 

[DHONI183]

^^^

Great first attempt. This could become a song.

Thanks sir!

I wouldn´t mind if you have a good voice to sing.

 

[Saurav]

Dedicated to a woman whom I love as much as the women in my family. My guru, my teacher, is like my elder sister.

An educational journey

"They judge her on her intelligence,
Are unaware of the challenges,
Challenges, that make her so inspirational,
Her journey, so educational.

From her I draw inspiration,
A woman who engages in celebration, 1
Irrespective of situations and conditions,
An aspiring person with several ambitions,
Her words of wisdom are poetic compositions, 2
Full of immense love and compassion, 3
A dedicated soul; helping others a passion. 4

A capable girl, very athletic, 5
In every way so energetic,
Till there came a tragic day,
A mournful accident in every way, 6
Why did such a day arrive?
Now on a wheelchair she has to survive,....
A tragic story, it cannot be denied,
My grief so obvious, I cannot hide.... "

Poem (composed by Rawal Afzal) completed at 16:26 PM CET, 5th December 2013.

Footnes:

1. Meaning, that she celebrates every little happiness that comes her way and is always grateful to God.

2. An example being: "You are never alone or helpless. The Force that guides the stars guides you too."

3. She places great emphasis on how love is the cure and solution to everything. She says, "Love others not because they deserve your love, but because you deserve to have love in your heart."

4. She has started a charitable organisation to provide hope and help for the severely disabled people.

5. She was an accomplished swimmer and alongside it, was the captain of her state`s Under-19 cricket team in India and led them to a title victory in 1997.

6. The accident took place at a beach on 7th July 1998 where the waves led to her downfall. She suffered from a spinal cord injury.....

Awesome poem.From the footnotes,I think I know who this is about.She has been an inspiration for me too,given that I share something with her

 

[DHONI183]

Awesome poem.From the footnotes,I think I know who this is about.She has been an inspiration for me too,given that I share something with her

I expected this! She is quite famous amongst the Indians on the Internet. Do you know her personally?

Thanks by the way!

 

[Saurav]

I expected this! She is quite famous amongst the Indians on the Internet. Do you know her personally?

Thanks by the way!

No,not personally.Read about her on the internet news item and have been following her since.Very inspirational I must say